Head Line News

The next time I complain about the quality of medical care in this country, and I’m sure I will, if for no other reason than that I love to complain, please remind me that, at least, I’m not in Venezuela. I just read an interesting news story that makes me just a wee bit doubtful of the medical care one might receive there.
The story concerns 33-year-old Carlos Camejo. Seems Camejo was pronounced dead following an auto accident and his body was taken to the morgue for an autopsy. The only problem is was that his body wasn’t exactly dead.
The story goes that when the medical examiner cut into Camejo’s face, he began to bleed. The examiner, according to the news report, immediately knew something was amiss. I wonder how many years of training it took so that he could immediately recognize a warning sign when the corpse begins to bleed. Anyway, apparently, the medical examiner continued to do the autopsy. I mean one bleeding face does not a live person make, does it?
The examiner didn’t actually stop cutting until the corpse began to complain about the excruciating pain in his face. A scalpel can do that. It was reassuring to read that as soon as Camejo began to complain, the medical examiner stitched him up. And, it appears that Camejo is still living, which is rather surprising, considering he’s still in Venezuela.
I wonder what the criteria is down there for being declared dead. Evidently, you can still be breathing, because Camejo had to do some breathing to stay alive. At least that’s my non-medically trained opinion. I wonder if the doctor who declared him dead ever thought to check for a heartbeat, because, I’m guessing the guy’s heart was still beating as well.
But you know the most important thing about this story is the moral. Yes, there’s something to be learned here. And that is that sometimes there are worse things than waking up with an excruciating pain in your face.
In a semi-related story from England (related in the sense that sometimes things turn out much better than it would appear on the surface), a young boy underwent brain surgery to remove fluid caused by a rare strain of meningitis. The doctors held out little hope for the boy’s survival. However he did survive, but lost his ability to read and write. Anyway, after several weeks recovering in the hospital, here’s the amazing thing: The boy, whose mother is a music teacher, is reportedly playing the piano and trumpet much better than he had previously.
Some people have all the luck. I know that if I’d been killed in an auto accident, I’d have never awakened in the morgue. And, as far as improving my musical abilities, forget it. I had hernia surgery several years ago and I still can’t play a musical instrument. Heck, I can’t even read music. What kind of doctors must I have had…Venezuelans?
But, here’s something even more amazing about this kid in Britain. Before the surgery, he had a thick Yorkshire accent, now, the story says, “He speaks like the queen.” Hmm, he plays the piano and speaks like the Queen. I wonder if boy has become Elton John. Just a thought.
Anyway, the boy’s parents say that when he began speaking several weeks after the surgery, “He sounded really posh.” I’d like to sound posh. Even if I never played the piano, it would be cool to sound posh. I wonder if I started poking around in my head if I could lose my southern accent. I’m going to go find a scalpel. I’ll let you know what happens.