Things I Hate About The Gas Station

Now, I'm betting you think I'm going to talk about paying ridiculously high prices for gas. Actually, I'm not. In fact, I was thinking this morning, as I was pumping $2.039 a gallon gas, that the petroleum industry has done a marvelous job. By raising gasoline up to about 2.17, then dropping it back, I'm actually standing at the pump thinking, hey, what a great price.
When I see gas at 1.999, I get positively giddy. So, the prices are not what I hate.
Well, that's not completely true. What I do hate is that extra 9. Why in the world do gasoline stations sell their gas at whatever plus nine tenths of a cent? I wonder who started that asanine practice.
And, there is one more price-related thing I hate. It's those Manic Mondays or Terrific Tuesdays or Wonderful Wednesdays or whatever. I never hit it on the right day. So when I'm standing there on Tuesday pumping gas and see that if I'd come yesterday, I could have saved five cents a gallon, it really irks me. It's like the station is saying, "Too bad you loser. We sold it to your neighbors for a lot less because they're smart enough to know when to come in." I think they change the day every week, because I went in to a station last Tuesday for their Terrific Tuesday, only now it's Freaky Friday.
Something I hate more than these pricing games are those new pay-at-the-pump pumps. Don't get me wrong, I love the convenience. What I hate is trying to figure out where to stick the credit card, and which direction to stick it in. And, then when the screen says to remove the card quickly, I really panic. I'm never sure if I'm quick enough. Sometimes when it seems to take forever to authorize, I get to worrying that maybe I'm getting too old to remove the card quickly.
Then you have to figure out if there's a button to push or a lever to lift, or just what to do. I've literally stood in front of the pump for five minutes before I could find the start button.
And, for whatever reason, I never can find the "Yes" button. I think it's on the "9" key, but I never remember when I'm asked if I want a receipt. The other day I was so proud of myself. I found the "yes" right away. Only problem was I was agreeing to a car wash, which I didn't want.
And what's with this asking about car washes? What's next? Do I want a cup of coffee, or a quart of oil, or a pack of cigarettes? I could see the day when it will take about ten minutes just to tell the pump all the things we don't want.
And one more thing I hate - What's with these restroom keys hooked to a tree limb, or a twelve-inch pipe? What, does the management really think I want to steal the key, so I can sneak in and use their ultra-clean restroom anytime day or night? When I walk out of the station lugging the key chain, I'm sending a message to everyone passing within five hundred feet of the station that I have to use the bathroom.
I try to avoid using gas station restrooms, but by the time I figure out how to use the pump, I've gotten so nervous...well, I guess you get the picture.