Did you hear Jerry Falwell died? I’m still reeling. There are some people, I guess, that you just kind of think will always be there, and then, voila, they’re not.
Anyway, Jerry’s gone. Well, according to all the talk coming out of Lynchburg, he’s not really gone, he’s just away. Or, did he only go beyond the curtain? I’m not quite sure.
I heard an interesting quote from this gal who arrived at the site of his funeral ten hours early to make sure she got a good seat. Makes sense, when you think about it. So, think about it. When you go to a funeral, you really don’t want the cheap seats. Of course, you don’t want the most expensive seat in the house either, if you get my drift.
Anyway, this lady made a fascinating experience about having had the opportunity to attend Jerry Falwell’s funeral. Here’s what she said, and I promise, I’m not making this up. I don’t believe I could.
“It’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience.” Really, she said that. A once-in-a-lifetime experience. You know, she’s right. I have a feeling Jerry won’t be dying again…not anytime soon, anyway. It’s nice the pastor could accommodate this woman.
She went on to talk about her experiences growing up…how her mamma just loved Jerry so much, and how her family would sit around the radio and listen to the honey just drip out of his mouth. She didn’t exactly say that, but that’s the gist, or at least as I understood it. She spoke with such a thick accent that I couldn’t understand everything she said. It just made me realized how much we need to protect our borders. West Virginians are slipping into the state every day and we HAVE to do something about that.
But, back to Jerry Falwell. Did you hear about the 19-year-old Liberty University student who was arrested yesterday? Evidently this kid somehow missed out on the “Vengeance is Mine” lecture. He had put together some bombs because he was worried about the possibility of protesters at the funeral. Nothing says “let the man be buried in peace,” quite like a homemade bomb.
Speaking of bombs, I’m really getting sick and tired of those Hannity and Combes type of TV talk shows. Is this representative of thoughtful debate for the 2000s? The typical “debate” goes something like this:
HANNITY: We have Al Sharpton and the producer of Don Imus’ radio program, Bernard McGuirk, here to discuss the recent firing of Imus for inappropriate comments. Bernard, we’ll let you go first.
MCGUIRK: Reverend Sharpton is an idiot.
SHARPTON: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot.
MCGUIRK: Am not!
SHARPTON: Are too!
MCGUIRK: You’re momma!
SHARPTON: You see, there you go hurling racial slurs. You’re momma!
MCGUIRK: You’re a liar.
SHARPTON: No. You’re the liar.
MCGUIRK: Am not.
SHARPTON: Are too.
MCGUIRK: Stop talking about yourself.
SHARPTON: Me? You’re talking about yourself…calling yourself a liar.
MCGUIRK: You’re an idiot.
SHARPTON: You already called me an idiot.
MCGUIRK: Did not.
SHARPTON: Did too.
MCGUIRK: Well, you’re a double idiot.
SHARPTON: I’m rubber. You’re glue. What you say bounces off me and sticks to you.
MCGUIRK: Does not.
SHARPTON: Does too.
MCGUIRK: You’re dumb.
SHARPTON: Well, you’re bald.
MCGUIRK: Well, you’re a nap….
HANNITY: Ooops, time’s up. We thank both of you for being courageous enough to come on the program and debate this weighty issue.
Speaking of weighty, did you see Nancy Grace on Law and Order SVU last night? Hasn’t she blimped up? Star Jones was on as well. She looks like she’s lost some weight, but I’m pretty sure Nancy Grace has found every pound that Jones has lost.
Anyway, I’m going to wrap this up. My mother always said if you can’t say something nice about someone, say something bad, and I hope I’ve lived up to that today.
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