No Peso Today

Well this is the day we're supposed to find out what life in America would be like without illegal immigrants. Gee, I hope I'm not too traumatized by this. These illegals say they're not going to do any shopping today. You know what that means? It means I have the 7-11 all to myself. It means there won't be sucra packages left lying all over the coffee-stained counter top. Somehow I think I can make it through the day without these immigrants.
I know some of you are, at this minute, branding me a bigot. Well, if its bigoted to resent criminals running around protesting, then, yes, I guess I am a bigot. Somehow, I wasn't aware just how important lawbreakers have been in my life. So, I'm taking this day to reflect on how much criminals have contributed to my life.
Take license plates, for example. I know they used to be produced at the State Pen in Richmond. I guess they're still made by convicts. They still have that quality look and feel that only comes from having a product made by a crazed killer. I don't think those confined in our state penal institutions get the credit they deserve.
I'm proposing that all of the inmates throughout the state just walk out today. Really, put your license-plate-making tools down and leave. Why let these bully guards control your life. You have rights. You're a contributing member of society. You may find getting out of your respective facilities to be a bit of a challenge, but I'm willing to bet that if you let the warden know you want to support the illegal immigrants, he or she will be more than understanding.
And, while we're talking about criminals, let's talk about John Mohammed for a moment. Now they're getting ready to begin his trial in Maryland. He's being tried for killing six people. Hasn't that poor man suffered enough? Thankfully, the state of Maryland says they will not seek the death penalty. I think the public would be outraged if his dead body (following his execution in Virginia) were hauled off to Maryland and lethally injected. I know Mohammed is hoping to get life in prison in Maryland. Then he can appeal to have his execution carried out in Virginia after he's served his life sentence in Maryland.
You know, as I review this, what appalls me about myself, is that I didn't become a lawyer, or some sort of diplomat. I seem to have the solution to most of life's problems. I should make it my life's work to just go around and spread good news to all whom I meet.
But, that will have to wait until tomorrow. Today I'm protesting with my amigos.