One Last Thrill For The Road

Well, it's 8:30 Sunday morning in Hong Kong. In about 90 minutes, I'll be on that great silver bird (airplane, for those of you who aren't in to hip talk like we savvy world travelers use). I have had the most miserable night, and yet, here at 8:30, I'm very happy...tired, but happy. Who'd have thunk it.
First, the bad part. I arrive in Hong Kong at about 10:30 last night from Shanghai. I just need a cheap hotel room for the night, but given the way things turn out for me, that's not in the cards. Almost all hotels are booked solid for a trade show. The only rooms left are in the 400 dollar (and I'm talking the real, green ones) range. I'm resigned to spending the night in the airport, when an "extremely helpful" cab driver shows up. He knows a great little hotel, room only that costs about 350 Hong Kong dollars (50 US). So, after he swears he's phoned the hotel to confirm, I get in his cab. I'm kinda suspicious of the fact that he has the meter covered with a rag, and the place where the driver's ID picture is supposed to be is empty. But, hey, this is Hong Kong.
He seems nice enough as we drive the 30 minutes into Hong Kong from the airport. We get into town and he starts driving up one seedy street and down another. There's a police blockade at one point, which, I think, he used to his advantage. "There's been a fire at the hotel," he tells me. You don't have to hit me over the head with a brick to wake me up. I'm really suspicious now. He stops on the seediest street so far and gets out, telling me to wait there.
About twenty minutes he's back, saying he found a room. He says the manager will be coming down to the street to meet me. I pay him, get my luggage and tell him to get lost.
By this time, it's about 1:00 AM, I'm standing in the middle of a really crumby street with three pieces of baggage. I stop passers-by (they're out all hours in Hong Kong) and a woman walking a poodle tells me there's a decent hotel a couple of blocks over. She leads me half-way there and points to it.
I haul me and my luggage to the front of this hotel. It's so classy that there's a guy sleeping on a cot at the front door. The hotel is two flights up, and there's no way I'm going to leave my luggage there with Cot-Man. So, I heave and ho and huff and puff and get the luggage up the stairs. The woman tells me the room is 600 Hong Kong, which isn't bad, except the place is horrible.
So, down the steps the luggage and I go, past the sleeper and into the streets. I hail another cab and head back to the airport. Total cost in the green money - about $80.00.
I then settle in on an extremely uncomfortable lobby chair, using my carry-on as a pillow. Keep in mind that the next night will be spent crammed into a clothes hamper sized United Airlines Economy Seating seat. Anyway, at about 6:00 this morning I go to the United check-in counter (they're closed overnight) and check in. I ask for an aisle seat. The nice woman says that she has an aisle seat, but it's in the back of the plane. She tells me that I had purchased an economy-plus seat, so I'd have to downgrade for an aisle seat.
Evidently what I sat in coming over was not the worst seat United could come up with. Nonetheless, I'd rather take a downgrade and get the aisle. I'm anxious to see what Economy non-plus is. I'm rather suspecting they'll ask me to clean the toilets every couple of hours.
But, remember at the outset I said I'm happy? Well, I am. Here's why. After passing through immigration and security, I head for the monorail to take me to my gate. I see a sign advertising a lounge for all travelers. The Business- and First-class passengers already have a nice lounge to wait in away from us commoners.
I decide to check this lounge out. It is the greatest thing to happen to air travel since the Wright brothers.
For 20.00 US, I get nice comfortable chairs, newspapers, magazines, CNN (okay, you can't have everything), a breakfast buffet, and a hot shower. I feel good...very tired, but good.
Anyway, I gotta go butter up my hips so I can squeeze into my seat on the plane. The next time you'll hear from me will be when I'm back on earth, I mean back in America.