My First Ever Year In Review Column (And, boy am I psyched)

Well, it’s the end of another year…another year that went by way too quickly. I’ve been, as old men are wont to do, waxing nostalgic this morning. I just thought I’d stop for a moment and let the wax dry, and maybe take a few minutes to reflect on some of the highlights of this past year, perhaps even sharing a secret or two, that at the time, I couldn’t or wouldn’t reveal.
The biggest event of the year, for me personally anyway, was my face transplant in early February. The picture you see of me on this page is my new face. I would like to have gotten a little bit better looking one, but my insurance plan is not all that good.
Some of you may have heard about my transplant, but here’s a little secret I hadn’t divulged until now. The reason I got the transplant was to hide something that, in retrospect, isn’t all that embarrassing. So, now I will reveal…I’m Doug Wilder’s twin brother. There, I’ve said it. And I feel good for having done so.
I’ve been looking back on some of my columns from the past few months in an effort to trigger that fading memory of mine. I fondly remember back in March, when ground was broken in Shockoe Bottom for the new ballpark. Do you remember how Hank Aaron, Babe Ruth, and Mickey Mantle all showed up for that big day? Whatever happened with that anyway? I was in the Bottom the other day, and I couldn’t find the site.
Another big highlight, at least at the time I thought so, was the grand opening of what was touted to be the best Mexican restaurant in Virginia, La Cucaracha. The restaurant did a lot of advertising in our magazines, and so, quite logically, I ate there with a certain degree of regularity, along with a tad of gluttony. In one column I wrote, “The La Cucaracha Platter has got to be one of the yummiest dishes I’ve had in years. I can’t identify the secret ingredient, but about fifteen minutes after I’ve eaten, I have this irresistible urge to crawl behind the toilet, lie on my back and wiggle my arms and legs in the air.”
I hope you had a chance to enjoy the restaurant before its rather abrupt closing. I was in the hospital undergoing a series of stomach-pumpings at the time it shut down.
My second biggest regret of the year had to do with the three weeks in the fall when I was supposedly in China. Truth be told and secrets be revealed, I’d actually secreted myself away to California, where I worked with an active, albeit radical group in an effort to spring Tookie Williams from prison. I hope I won’t get in any trouble for revealing that. I’m sure any statute of limitations on prison breaks has run out by now. At the time, with a certain degree of naiveté, I wrote in a column, “What has Tookie ever done to hurt anyone…except for those few murders, that is?” Ah, the sweet innocence of youth.
And, that brings us up to date on some of the highlights of 2005. This has been fun. I’d love to hear from you. Maybe you could share your highlights of this year. And then, maybe we can do it again next year. And, maybe even you could invite me over to your house and we could share a cup of tea or a glass of Scotch, and you could make us something to eat while we chatted. But I gotta run. It’s time to go buff nostalgic.