More Reasons I Won't Be Called To Speak In Michael Vick's Defense

Let's talk Michael Vick. I mean let's get down to the real nitty gritty. I've done a lot of research and may be the most knowledgeable person in the country about what's going on with the native Virginian dog-fighter, who is also known for his prowess on the football field.
First to quell a rumor...there is no truth to the report that Vick has written a book, entitled, "I Didn't Kill No Dogs, But If I Had, Here Is How I Would Have Did It." You may already know that to be a rumor, but only I know how it got started. Seems Vick's publicist issued a press release, trying to put the guy in the best possible light. The release contained this statement, "Michael Vick has just completed his first book." Some were wont to jump on that line and expand upon it until you get the Michael Vick tell-all. There really was never any good reason for this rumor in the first place. All one would have had to do is to continue reading the press release, which went on to say, "Vick is so excited, he says he hopes to read another book real soon." Do you see how easily things can get out of hand?
Next item on the Michael Vick agenda: The marijuana. Seems Vick was drug tested and, you won't believe this, he had been smoking marijuana. A pro athlete? Unbelieveable. Honestly, with all the stuff the athletes are getting in to these days, I think it would be a good idea if ESPN merged with Court TV. But, as regards Vick, I say we cut him a little slack. Actually, the guys bettering himself. He's under a lot of pressure. In the old days, when the star quarterback needed to calm down, he could go out and kill a dog. But, now that he's been enabled to understand that hanging dogs by the neck until dead is not the truly humane thing to do, he isn't killing them anymore. I say we give the guy a standing O for that. One thing for sure, he ain't going to be getting much applause on the gridiron for a few years.
But, I do think Michael Vick has more adaptibility than many of you give him credit for. Do you know what the guy is doing ini preparation for his upcoming stint in the big house? When I learned what I'm about to tell you, I confess, it pulled one of my heartstrings. Thankfully, I had my Tums on me. Anyway, in order to help him pass the time spent behind bars constructively, right now, as we speak, Vick is training rats to fight. Isn't that wonderful?
Well, I hope you all are just a little more enlightened than you were a few minutes ago. I say, "Let's walk in someone else's never-to-be-worn-again cleats before we start judging him." And, you can quote me on that.
Now, if there's anyone else you want to know the real skinny on, just ask. When it comes to skinny, I'm your go to guy.