And The Survey Says...

On those rare occasions when I get to feeling that, in the grand scheme of things, my job is not all that important to mankind, I stop to reflect that it really isn't all that bad. After all, I console myself, I could have been a poll taker, you know one of those surveyors who is constantly amazing us with statistical facts that we would never have imagined.
Take for instance a report this morning. I heard it on the radio. Here are the facts (and you'd better sit down, because you would never have guessed this in a million years): According to a recent survey more black Americans than white Americans are likely to question racial equality in this country. Now, if you're not reeling with amazement yet, get this...more black Americans are going to observe Martin Luther King day than white Americans.
Talk about startling! I'm gasping for breath. I sure am glad we had those surveyors do that survey, or I'd have had that one totally turned around.
What kind of person grows up and decides to go out and ask inane questions on subjects about which few really do care in the first place? I can imagine these pollsters, as kids, calling the family together and solemnly announcing, "I've surveyed every member of the family and it appears that the majority of the family chooses to put syrup on their pancakes rather than horseradish. These kids probably asked for a show of hands when their mother asked, "Do you want me to tell your father what you've done when he gets home?"
I did a little research on the web and here are some survey results published recently. Now, these are actual surveys, folks. I'm not making this up.

"About 93% of physicians say they would prescribe birth control to any adult patients that request them and for whom they are medically appropriate," You mean a doctor would prescribe an appropriate drug? That's kinda revolutionary.

How about this one? In Scotland someone did a survey of students who were studying to be social workers. They were asked what they wanted to do with their lives. And, get this, 96% said they wanted to be social workers. Now, that was a poll that was just begging to be taken.

And, a business magazine surveyed CFOs from some of the nation's top corporations. They were asked what their primary goal is for the new year. The vast majority said to grow revenue. That one suprised me. I'd have sworn they'd have wanted to make more money.

However, realizing that I have a mental condition that requires me to look at everything negatively, I want to try something positive. I want to see how rewarding it might be to take a survey. So, if you don't mind, please answer the following questions - honestly.

Do you eat popcorn with:

1) your hands
2) a spoon
3) I didn't know you were supposed to eat it. I just enjoy listening to it pop.

I think a ball park in Shockoe Bottom would be:

1) a real incentive to go downtown
2) fun
3) a roadblock to the thousands who visit the slave trail in Shockoe each day

The best thing about living in the West End or Chesterfield County is that:

1) It's close to so many great things
2) It's a vibrant, growing community
3) It's outside the city limits

The most exciting events in the Richmond area are:

1) The two annual NASCAR races
2) UR and VCU athletic competitions
3) Indictments of city officials

The most useless career imaginable is:

1) Writing a daily blog
2) Taking surveys
3) Raising funds to build a Performing Arts Center

Sheriff Woody and Michelle are

1) Two great people with opposing views
2) Probably now having an affair
3) Characters on the new FOX animated comedy, King of Church Hill


I look forward to the results.