I just had to add another post today. We (Chesterfield Living and West End's Best Magazines) just added a forum page. I guess it's a great idea, gives our readers a chance to put in their feedback. But, whoa! Right off the bat comes this post from some guy named Cornell. Says he's from Boones Mill, Virginia (my hometown).
Yeah, sure pal. I'm not buying it. I believe Eugene Collette over at Capital One is somehow involved here. So, if any of you know Eugene, let him know that I'm on to his little tricks.
Gee, will somebody slap me? I guess I kinda lost control here. I don't take criticism very well. Anyway, visit our forum and if you agree with Cornell, well, you can keep that to yourself. But, other than that, we'd love to hear from you. I'm going to go drink a couple cups of coffee and calm down.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Let Us Spray
Okay, all you non-smokers out there, listen up. I have some great news about a wonderful new product that just might put you on equal footing with your smoking co-workers and other aquaintances. I have a fantastic new product designed just with you in mind. I use it myself and, believe you me, it's changed my life.
It's an aerosol spray that stinks like crazy. Yes, the putrid odor this spray can emits is downright disgusting, and, yet, at the same time, positively addictive. I can't stop spraying.
When I go into a restaurant to enjoy a good meal, nothing tops off the experience like a good spray. I just like to kick back, sip a cup of coffee and spray my can of Gagarette (that's the name of my stinky spray).
And, when I'm stuck in rush hour traffic, the perfect way to help me keep calm is to spray and spray and spray. Later, when others get in the car with me, they can quickly detect that I'm a hip Gagarette adict. My passengers look at me with new-found respect as soon as they get one whiff of my car.
But, the really great thing about my new Gagarette addiction is the extra breaks I get at work. I used to envy cigarette smokers because the company allowed them to take a fifteen minute break just about every hour, so they could go outside and satisfy their addiction. We non-smokers only got two breaks a day. Now that I'm addicted to my aerosol spray, I get the same consideration as my smoking co-workers.
I can go outside and spray away. And, when my can is empty, I just toss it on the ground. Sometimes I need two breaks in an hour. And fortunately, most employers are more than willing to accommodate us sprayers.
I've made lots of new friends among the smokers. I don't think they understand my addiction, but at least, due to the fact that they've lost virtually all of their sense of smell, they're not bothered by my spray. I wouldn't want to offend them. I'm a very considerate sprayer. I try not to spray in the direction of non-sprayers, unless, of course, my addiction becomes too great and there's no other recourse.
I can honestly say that Gagarette has not only enriched my life emotionally, but financially as well. I'm starting a marketing campaign to show teens how cool it can be to spray. I've also produced small sample cans, and I'm trying to get permission to give them out at all the local high schools. I feel sure that if the kids today started spraying, just on a very limited basis, pretty soon, just like me, they'd want to spray more each day.
If you'd like to try a Gagarette, just let me know. I'll be glad to give you one of mine. And, don't be worried about recent reports that Gagarette can be harmful to your health. I've got lots of research to show that any evidence that disagrees with my research is ridiculous. Besides, we all have to go sometime. Speaking of going, excuse me, but I have to go outside and take a spray.
It's an aerosol spray that stinks like crazy. Yes, the putrid odor this spray can emits is downright disgusting, and, yet, at the same time, positively addictive. I can't stop spraying.
When I go into a restaurant to enjoy a good meal, nothing tops off the experience like a good spray. I just like to kick back, sip a cup of coffee and spray my can of Gagarette (that's the name of my stinky spray).
And, when I'm stuck in rush hour traffic, the perfect way to help me keep calm is to spray and spray and spray. Later, when others get in the car with me, they can quickly detect that I'm a hip Gagarette adict. My passengers look at me with new-found respect as soon as they get one whiff of my car.
But, the really great thing about my new Gagarette addiction is the extra breaks I get at work. I used to envy cigarette smokers because the company allowed them to take a fifteen minute break just about every hour, so they could go outside and satisfy their addiction. We non-smokers only got two breaks a day. Now that I'm addicted to my aerosol spray, I get the same consideration as my smoking co-workers.
I can go outside and spray away. And, when my can is empty, I just toss it on the ground. Sometimes I need two breaks in an hour. And fortunately, most employers are more than willing to accommodate us sprayers.
I've made lots of new friends among the smokers. I don't think they understand my addiction, but at least, due to the fact that they've lost virtually all of their sense of smell, they're not bothered by my spray. I wouldn't want to offend them. I'm a very considerate sprayer. I try not to spray in the direction of non-sprayers, unless, of course, my addiction becomes too great and there's no other recourse.
I can honestly say that Gagarette has not only enriched my life emotionally, but financially as well. I'm starting a marketing campaign to show teens how cool it can be to spray. I've also produced small sample cans, and I'm trying to get permission to give them out at all the local high schools. I feel sure that if the kids today started spraying, just on a very limited basis, pretty soon, just like me, they'd want to spray more each day.
If you'd like to try a Gagarette, just let me know. I'll be glad to give you one of mine. And, don't be worried about recent reports that Gagarette can be harmful to your health. I've got lots of research to show that any evidence that disagrees with my research is ridiculous. Besides, we all have to go sometime. Speaking of going, excuse me, but I have to go outside and take a spray.
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