Okay You Lovers of Daytime Drama...

Another episode from the Steve Cook Internet Playhouse. Today's episode Run For Your Lives.
Our characters:

PBJ Sampson - a former star football player who has had more than his share of run-ins with the law.
Vick Michaels - a current star football player who is working on having more than his share of run-ins with the law
Marion "Why Do My Calves Look Like Cows" Jones - a former track star who is in trouble with the law.

As our story opens, the three athletes meet in a bail bondsman's office...

PBJ: I have been unjustly accused
Marion: For about the eighth time too, eh PBJ?
PBJ: I can't help it if everyone has something against me. I'm innocent I tell you
Vick: I am too. I swear it.
Marion: What do you mean, you're innocent Vick? You confessed to a felony.
Vick: Hey, do I look stupid or something? I'd never do anything like that.
Marion: What do you mean? You signed a confession.
Vick: What? That was a confession? I thought they just wanted my autograph.
PBJ: What's the matter with you, Vick? Can't you read?
Vick: Well, not exactly.
Marion: How could that be? You went to Virginia Tech.
Vick: So?
Marion: So that's one of the best colleges in the country.
Vick: Wow! Really? No one ever told me Virginia Tech was a college. I knew it was a minor league football team, but a college too! Well, what do you know...I'm a college graduate.
PBJ: I don't think you ever graduated.
Vick: I didn't? Wow! Who knew?
PBJ: I remember reading that you dropped out.
Vick: Wow! You mean you can read?
PBJ: I can read and write. I even wrote a book...kind of.
Vick: Wow! Do you mind if I make you my hero?
PBJ: Don't mind at all. You wouldn't be the first.
Marion: Why are we standing around making small talk? Don't you all know that all of us could do some hard prison time?
PBJ: Don't worry. We're famous. We can get away with murder.
Vick: Well, I wouldn't want to go to prison. I want to spend the rest of my days taking care of those poor pathetic creatures that live in my basement.
Marion: You mean your dogs.
Vick: Dogs? No. I'm talking about my family.
Marion: Well the facts are that if we're found guilty, we're going to prison.
PBJ: Well, I guess there's only one thing to do...and fortunately it's something we all do pretty well.
All three: RUN!

We'll continue with our story after this message from our sponsor...

Billy: Mom, Dad, hurry up. You promised you'd take us to get ice cream this afternoon.
Mom: Gee Billy, your Dad must have forgotten. He's planning to have his nose hairs removed today.
Billy: But mom, that's not fair.
Dad: Billy, look at my nose hairs. Do you think I can go another week like this?
Suzie: Gee Dad, I was so excited about going to get ice cream. I told all the kids at school we were going.
Billy and Suzie: Wah Wah Wah
Announcer: Hey kids, dry those tears. Here's some good news!
Suzie: Eeeeek! Who is that?
Mom: (laughing) It's just our announcer. Don't be scared. Please Mr. Announcer, what is the good news.
Announcer: Now you can have your ice cream and your nose hairs removed at the same time!
Entire family smiles in glee.
Dad: Surely you jest. Tell us more.
Announcer: Announcing the grand opening of Nick's Ice Cream and Nose Hair Removal Parlor.
Scene shifts to parlor Billy and Suzie are enjoying their cones and dad is in the nose hair removal chair having his nose hairs removed.
Billy: Gee folks, this is great. I love each of the fifteen folliclelicious flavors!
Dad: Yeeeowwww!
Suzie: Yeah, Mom and Dad, thanks for bringing us here.
Dad: Yeeowwww!
Announcer: Next time you're in the mood for ice cream but need your nose hairs removed, visit Nick's Ice Cream and Nose Hair Removal Parlor. Remember at Nick's...
Entire family: You pick your flavor. Nick picks your nose.

And, now, back to today's episode...Run for your Life

Vick: (panting) I'm tired of running.
Marion: Hey, I'm just getting my second wind. Well, if it's not Mister Big Time Writer. Where have you been?
PBJ: I took a detour and ran through the airport waiting area. I do that so well. You should see the way I leap over the chairs.
Sounds of sirens interrupt the conversation.
Marion: Looks like this is the end of the road for us fellows.
Police Officer: (approaches) Okay everybody, you're under arrest.
Marion: Hey, go easy with the handcuffs. What did I do? It's not like I killed any dogs.
Vick: Same here. I don't care what I confessed to, I'm illiterate. I didn't kill any dogs either.
PBJ: Hey, what's the big deal. I didn't do anything wrong. All I did was kill a few dogs.

Organ music up and out.

Tune in tomorrow for another exciting story on the Steve Cook Internet Playhouse. Tomorrow's episode is entitled, "The Priest Who Pretended He Was Gay."