That's An Elfish Thing To Do

I’m going to blow the lid off of an international icon. I’m going to upset millions. But, someone has to do it. Someone has to have the fortitude to say, “Enough is enough,” and I’m the one.
Brace yourself. Here me now, and think about this later. Santa Clause is a bigoted snob. There I said it and I feel good. I’m tired of him getting all this positive publicity as some sort of goody-two-shoes bringing toys to boys and girls around the globe.
Oh yeah? Think again. What about little Jewish boys and girls? Or the little Muslim junior terrorists? They don’t deserve a visit from ol’ Saint Nick? Apparently not.
But, you might reason, they don’t celebrate so why should they get anything. Okay, let’s forget the non-celebrants for a moment.
What about all those poor families…the destitute kids? Do their mommas and daddies sit them down and lovingly explain that while Santa Claus is real, the truth is, he just doesn’t love poor kids?
That would seem like the fair thing to do. After all, how do you explain to Johnny why his rich schoolmates got these fabulous gifts, and he got a used pair of shoes and a coloring book?
I think it’s time we took off our rose-colored glasses and smelled the egg nog. Failure to do so could have horrible consequences. Little Johnny may grow up to be a criminal…not through any fault of his own, but because of Santa. If Johnny grows up and eventually comes to your home, perhaps after a lonely Christmas day, and mugs you, are you going to be so in love with the jolly old fat man then? I don’t think so.
There he sits in his comfortable North Pole home giggling like a drunk sailor “Ho Ho” this and “Ho Ho” that. Personally, I believe he’s laughing in the face of the world’s poor folks. Yeah, think about that.
He thinks it’s funny that he is going to bring great electronic games to the upper crust, and, if you’re lucky, he’ll stop by the Dollar Tree and pick up a little trinket for the poor kids.
If there was ever a need for some sort of Senate investigative committee to expose outright corruption, this is it. Let’s stop whitewashing what has been one of the biggest cover ups of hatred and bigotry for hundreds of years. Let’s open our eyes and see what’s really going on.
Now, keep in mind, I’m not endorsing violence. I’m not suggesting that anyone lie in wait for this pompous, overweight elitist, and then giving what’s coming to him. But, if his reindeer were to accidentally ingest rat poisoning this year, I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it.
If Santa were to be mistakenly taken for an intruder and shot, I say so be it. Again, I’m not suggesting anything. I wouldn’t want his blood on my hands, but I can tell you, from what I’ve observed, it would be blood that runs ice cold through the heartless enlarged body of one of the most devious, hypocritical bigots this world has ever seen.
Think about this, not only is Santa an anagram for Satan, but Claus is a homonym for claws. I haven’t stopped shuddering over that fact yet.
Am I an alarmist? You be the judge. But trust me. The day WILL come when you say, “You know…Steve Cook really was on to something. He was trying to tell us something, but we didn’t listen. And, now we are going to have to pay the price for ignoring that wonderful man.” Or, maybe not.