When It Comes to Eating Meat, I'm Game. But, Don't Shoot Me

I may be just a tad bit confused, but if I was reading an anonymous comment on yesterday's column, it seems that someone was equating serial killers with hunters. Maybe I misunderstood. That's been known to happen.
Let me say that I've never shot an animal (or a human, for that matter), nor do I think I ever could, unless it was attacking me and I just happened to have a rifle in my hand. Although, I'd probably scream like a woman and run like a coward.
I also do believe that there are some Nimrodish types who truly enjoy killing and hence hide behind that perversion by becoming hunters. That's not to say, however, that hunting is necessarily bad or wrong.
I think it's somewhat ironic that I don't know the meaning of ironic, but if I did, I'd probably use it in discussing the fact that some people rail against hunters while they're eating their fried chicken, or their McDonald's double cheeseburger. Do these folks think that the hamburgers came from cows who died a peaceful, natural death...perhaps in their sleep? Or that the bucket of KFC is made up of suicidal chickens?
Basically, whenever you eat meat, you're eating something that someone has killed. That may be the most asanine statement I've ever made. It's obviously rather obvious. But not so obvious to some anti-hunting types. Again, let me say, I've never been hunting and never would want to go. I'd hate to see Bambi get it right between the eyes, but put Bambi's hindquarter on a bun and I'm there, with the A-1 Sauce.
I have been fishing, although I don't like it, mainly because I think it's inhumane to put worms on a hook...or is that inworm? But, I do love fresh fish. I'll eat 'em as fast as you can catch 'em. It's funny. Some people who hate hunting are fine with fishing. Why? Less blood? Maybe. And it is interesting that Jesus chose fishermen and not hunters to follow him. But, that's not to say that there aren't some blood thirsty fishermen. I think any guy who goes fishing just so he can mount his fish on his wall or have his picture taken holding the biggest badest fish in the pond, is no better than those who hunt because of a love for the kill.
And, if there's some farmer who gets his jollies killing chickens, then he's got a problem too. I think it's pretty clear that many of these subhuman animals are great for eating, unless you belong to PETA. But, when you think about it, the PETA people are the most hypocritical of them all.
Think about it. They want animals to be accorded to same rights as humans. That should mean that animals have the same responsibilities as humans. So, when a bear kills a salmon, shouldn't PETA be out there protesting...maybe even have the bear locked up, or march around wherever bears congregate with gory signs showing half-eaten fish?
To my knowledge, PETA doesn't do that. The only life form they meddle with is humans, and I bet if you added up all the numbers, humans are pretty far down on the list when it comes to sheer numbers of other life forms they have killed.
Think how many poor little worms have been consumed by birds and fish. Those birds and fish should be ashamed of themselves. And, how can some perverted mother bird justify eating her young if she thinks it's been touched by a human?
Or, is that just some old wives tale? I hope not. I always liked telling that story.
When I was a baby, I'm sure some dowdy old woman picked me up because I was just so cute. I'm glad my mother didn't eat me because of that. Really PETA, why don't you go pick on something your own brain-size?
I hope I don't sound uncaring. I'm really a very nice guy. But, I gotta run. I want to kick the dog before I go to work. Have a nice day.