Book Him, Danno

Well,I really want to send my heartfelt thanks out to William Knapp, of Elmira, New York. Knapp has single-handedly destroyed a lifelong ambition of mine. For virtually as long as I can remember, I've wanted to drive a book-mobile. I remember my first book-mobile - the first one I had the extreme pleasure of climbing aboard and perusing the collection of books.
I remember thinking that this had to be the neatest thing on the face of the planet. A library on wheels - what would they think of next. For years I dreamed of driving a book-mobile...of proudly donning the book-mobile driver's gray uniform...of pinning the book-mobile driver's badge on my chest (well on my shirt, anyway).
There was only one other career path that had almost as much allure, and that was being an air-conditioner salesman. Alas, I never attained either position in life.
The a/c dream kind of faded through the years, but the idea of driving a book-mobile remained steady, strong. Somehow I think I had never given up on the possibility that one day, yes one glorious,splendid day,I would be hired to drive a book-mobile.
I had toyed with the idea, several years ago, of starting my own book-mobile, but I only had enough money for a cargo van. I was afraid that my patrons would not be exceptionally pleased with the notion of having to crawl around my book-mobile on their hands and knees. My mother, on the other hand, who always thinks I have fantastic ideas, encouraged me to go ahead and do it. "Just put the good books on the bottom shelves," she encouraged me. "And, most people won't even notice they're crawling.
That almost convinced me. There was still one roadblock, which, to tell the truth, I never could get around...how to make money doing it. All the book-mobiles I had been on were free, unless, of course, there were those nasty late fees. I toyed with the idea of charging $10.00 a day for late fees, but, somehow, that just seemed to go against the creed of the book-mobile driver. That creed, I'm guessing, is "Bringing the glory of books to the public without charge, except for those nasty late fees."
So, anyway,I just kept on dreaming that one day I would be a book-mobile driver. It's a dream I had until this morning. Yes,it was only this morning that I learned about William Knapp. If you haven't heard, and I'm sure that soon it will be splattered across all the front pages, Mr. Knapp (and I use the term loosely) was arrested while IN HIS BOOK-MOBILE, for loitering with the intent to solicit sex. Is there nothing sacred left anywhere?
Imagine, a book-mobile driver, proudly wearing his book-mobile driver uniform, sitting in his book-mobile, trying to procure a prostitute. I have to admit my faith in humanity has been shaken to its very core.
The news reported that Knapp is also a Democratic candidate for some local office in Elmira. I've never run for office, (except for that 4-H presidency back in the 3rd grade), but my guess is that soliciting prostitutes is not the most savvy campaign move. But, that's just a guess.
And, to tell you the truth, I'm way too shaken by the whole book-mobile angle to have the energy to dispense political advice this morning.
I just hope William Knapp is prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. I hope, to coin a pun (if, indeed one can coin a pun) they throw the book at him.
As for me, I'm left a shattered man...a man who has lost his dream. I wonder if it's too late to rekindle that air conditioning thing.