A Kinder, Gentler Steve

I don’t know if this constitutes a medical emergency or not, but my anger level is way down. I was thinking about it this morning. There are very few things I really hate right now.
That has me worried. They say that when you run out of things to scream about, you just slowly fade away. Well, they don’t say it. I do, but I believe I know as much as they do anyway.
Even my experience with Sprint Telephone customer service yesterday didn’t reach the ranting and raving stage. True, I did call the guy an idiot. But, if you’d been there you’d have done the same.
I didn’t even scream it at the top of my lungs. I just sort of matter-of-factly said, “Hey, you are an idiot.”
Let me tell you what happened. I couldn't make a call on my cell...kept being told my account could not be validated. So, I call customer service. They say my account looks fine, and that they will transfer me to technical support. I was then put on hold for fifty minutes waiting for technical support and then technical support comes on and tells me, “Oh yeah, there’s nothing wrong with your phone, we’re having a problem on the East Coast.”
“Well, why couldn’t you let your customer service people know that so I wouldn’t have had to wait so long,” I asked meekly.
His reply was one that in the old days would have had my arm reaching into the phone in order to throttle some neck, even if said neck was attached to a head in Bombay. But, rather than becoming hostile, I just quietly suggested that he might be an idiot.
What’s happening to me? Even this morning I had an experience that should have sent me over the edge. I should have run screaming through the house, but instead, I just said to myself, “Oh well. That’s life.”
That’s life? How could I have remained so calm? Oh, yeah, you don’t know what happened do you? I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I got the tube. It’s one of these new-fangled flip-top caps that the toothpaste people are so excited about. The problem is that these big dad-blasted caps simply create a receptacle for toothpaste to harden in. So, after one or two squeezes, the opening becomes scabbed over, as it were, making squeezing toothpaste on one’s brush nearly impossible.
Even though I didn’t go ballistic over the tube problem, which any normal human would have done, I do have a question or two I’d like to ask a customer-service rep with the toothpaste company about. I'm not upset. I just kinda would like to know.
First of all, were the old screw-off caps so much of a problem that they needed to create a new cap? I mean, I’m as lazy as they come, but I never really minded a couple of twists of the old cap.
Personally, I’d prefer they spend more time on new flavors than on new caps. For instance, what about a hamburger flavored toothpaste? Now, that would be a great way to start my day. Or devil's food cake with white icing. Now that would be a flavor.
When I was a kid, someone gave my father a bourbon-flavored toothpaste. It didn’t contain alcohol, just the taste. But, I was sneaking into the bathroom and brushing my teeth eight to ten times a day. Whatever happened to those good old days?
My second question, getting back to toothpaste tube caps, is this, do you guys ever stop to actually “test-drive” your caps before you start putting them on tubes and selling them? I’m sure that if anyone in R&D had taken that flip top tube home and used it a few days, the fool thing would never have gotten out the door. What’s wrong with you people?
Hold on. Do I seem to be getting irritated? Yes! Yes, I do, in fact. This is great. I’m actually getting mad just thinking about that stupid toothpaste tube. Every day or two I have to clean that scummy dross out. (I don’t know what scummy dross is, but I’ve always wanted to use the term). It’s not a pleasant job. It’s thick and hard and icky. And I hate it.
Gee, my blood pressure is soaring over this. I’m feeling giddy. Of course, I know that’s just the diabetes speaking, but hey, I feel alive again.
Life is great. Let me call that Sprint guy back and tell him what I really think of him.