My Brave Experiment

I want to try something today...a brave, daring (if you will), (and I will) experiment. I'm sitting here with absolutely no thoughts in my head. That's right. I'm not thinking about anything. As of this moment, I have no opinion on any subject. What I am going to do here is something an amateur should never attempt to do. Please do not try this at home. I'm going to open up a book, with my eyes closed. That's not the tricky part, but, yes, it does require a certain degree of skill. I'm going to point to a spot in the book, at random. And whatever word I'm pointing at (oh yeah, I'll open my eyes at this point) will be the catalyst to a beautifully, if not eloquently-written, treatise. Are you ready? Here goes.
My eyes are closed. I'm typing this with my eyes closed. Pretty skillful, eh? I'm reaching for a book. Darn it. I can't feel one. Hold on, while I open my eyes just long enough to find a book. Okay, my eyes are shut again. And I'm opening and pointing. And the key word is "salsa."
Well, that's not fair. Because I'm not sure if it's the sauce or the dance. How can one write about something if they're not sure if it's something they eat, or something they do with their feet? Everything I've ever attempted to do in life has been met with a degree of futility. Why couldn't I have pointed to a word like "president"? Now, that would have been easy. Some may say too easy, but I believe that in any course of life, it's always best to take the easy route. I've always said that if a job is worth doing, it's worth doing adequately, but let's not insist on it being done exactly right. For one thing, who is to say what is the exact right way to do something? Like in the song, "You say potato and I say potato." You know when you look at that in print, it makes absolutely no sense, unless you're writing about two people who are making some sort of agreement to say the word "potato."
I like potatoes. Did you notice though, that when you pluralize "potato" you add an "e"? Dan Quail noticed that. Do you remember Dan Quail? I think he was the only vice-president ever who had the name of a bird. I'm sitting here scratching my head trying to think if there's ever been a president or vice-president named after any other animal. As far as here in the United States goes, I don't think so, although maybe a lincoln is an animal. It'd be a good name for something like a mink or a chinchilla. But, unless it is, I can't think of an American president with an animal name.
Of course, Mexico's president is named Fox, which is the name of an animal, although Fox doesn't sound like a Mexican word, does it? Try this sentence: "El fox es bueno." Doesn't "fox" stick out like a sore, anglican thumb? Fox definitely does not have the ring of authentic Mexican. I tell you what does sound like a Mexican word...no matter whether you're talking about food or dance. It's "salsa."