The Nerve of Some Presidents

You know, that Jim Webb is one party animal. And, personally, I think we, here in Virginia, ought to be delighted to have him. He's a national treasure. I mean, think about it. Can you come up with any other senator anywhere who goes to a party with the President of the United States and almost gets into a fist fight with him? Talk about a cool guy!
Now, I've heard some folks on the radio blasting Webb, but did you hear what President Bush had the gall to do? Unbelieveably, Bush goes right up to Webb at this party and asks him how his son is doing. Can you imagine the nerve of some people. Listen here Mr. Bush...just because you're the president doesn't give you the right to go around asking people how their kids are doing.
Next thing you know this power hungry President will want to shake hands. Well, good thing for him he didn't try that with the honorable Jim Webb, or I'm sure Webb would have shook hands and come out fighting, if you know what I mean.
I think we should congratulate Jim Webb on showing such self restraint. I know I wouldn't have had his discipline. I was at a family reunion not too long ago and this little old lady comes right up to me and asks me how my daughter was doing. "Aunt Sarah," I say, looking her right in the eye, "that's between me and my daughter." Hmmph, I showed her. But did that shut the old busy body up? Nope.
"I was just asking how your daughter was doing," Aunt Sarah said, feigning hurt.
"Oh excuse me," I said sarcastically. "And, I guess you also want to pry into my personal life and ask about my wife too, huh?" By this time I was boiling. "I'm on to you, you old coot," I shouted at this ninety-two year old nosey nanny."
By this time a crowd had gathered. I could tell the other family members were looking at me with admiration. It was about time somebody put this woman in her place.
Some in the group, I have to tell you, seemed a little stunned. It may be because the devious old bag started crying. Her crocodile tears didn't suprise me one bit. "Would you just turn around, go back to your walker and leave me alone?" I shouted. And then I did something that I think Jim Webb would have loved. When Aunt Sarah turned around to leave, I drop kicked her into the fruit punch. Talk about a surprised look on a prune face!
It was priceless. Her dentures went one way. Her hearing aid went another and her walker ended up wrapped around the neck of one of the toddlers. But, don't worry. No one blamed me. They knew it was Aunt Sarah's fault.
So, you can imagine how proud I am of United States Senator Elect Jim Webb. He's a man after my own heart. And, here's an open imitation to the gentleman. If you ever get invited to the Oval Office, and need a good tag team partner, just let me know. I can do a pretty good pile driver, too.