An Ox is an Ox, Of Course, Of Course

As publishers of several magazines in the Richmond area, we receive a lot of press releases from various organizations, including Colonial Williamsburg. Generally speaking, they’re doing some interesting things down there in Williamsburg, and we will often include their upcoming events on our events website – www.flavorcalendar.com.
However, I received a press release from there this morning that leaves me somewhat underwhelmed. I’m pasting the release into this blog, just so you’ll know I’m not making this up. Here goes:

The Colonial Williamsburg Foundation will host its first symposium on oxen and their crucial
role as beasts of burden through the centuries.

Now, let me stop right there. Are you fascinated? Do you know anyone who might be? I can picture the scene at the offices of the Colonial Williamsburg organization. Someone pipes up in a meeting, “Hey, let’s do a symposium on oxen.” Heads start bobbing up and down.
“Yeah!”
“Oh my yes”
“Bully for you, ol chap.”

Well anyway, once they got through congratulating themselves on the idea, they actually came up with a name for the symposium. The release continues:

“Oxen in the Old and New Worlds,” consisting of lectures, demonstrations and
panel discussions by oxen experts from America and Great Britain.

Lectures! Wow! Hope they’ll be serving lots of coffee. Demonstrations? What will they consist of? Will the bigger guys take turns riding the little guys around on their back. Or maybe they’ll just bring in some long sticks and take turns goading one another. That might be fun.

Of course, I hope I’m not too winded from the goading to prevent me from getting to the panel discussion. I hope they take questions from the audience. I have a few I’d like to ask, such as “Why are you doing this?” And, “Like, really, why are you doing this?”

Something else in that release enthralls me. I really, truly want to meet some oxen experts from America and Great Britain. I have long wanted to know more about oxen. For instance, was Babe the blue ox, really blue? Was she as big as people say she was? And, this Paul Bunyan guy, what was he really like, you know, in everyday life?

I Googled “oxen experts” just to see what might come up. Apparently this oxen thing is big right now. They’re having panel discussions all around the world on oxen. And to think I almost slept right through it.

As I continue to read the press release, I’m becoming more and more fascinated. For instance, the release goes on to say:

Relied upon for strength and intelligence, as well as a food source, oxen were
man’s main beasts of burden until the late 19th century, when horses and mules
replaced them.


Now, if the oxen were so intelligent, how did they let horses and mules replace them? Hold on there. I get it. They were so intelligent, that they played dumb so that the horses and mules did all the dirty work. Actually, now that I think about it, I don’t recall seeing any oxen plowing the fields these days. I bet they’re all in some resort, somewhere, playing oxen games, drinking milk cocktails, and flicking fruit flies with their tales.

I wonder if any of the more intelligent oxen will be invited to participate in the panel discussion. This might not be so bad after all.