BArnYard WATCH

I was driving in to work this morning and there, right on Interstate 95, was a billboard. The big, bold letters said "Boycott KFC." And guess, whose picture was there to encourage passers-by to spit out their chicken That great humanitarian (and evidently vegetarian) Pamela Anderson.
What a fine lady. Hasn't she done enough for mankind already? And now, helping to warn us about the evils of KFC. I had forgotten that Pamela Anderson was the spokestramp for PETA. But she's also done ads for them encouraging us to not wear fur. Of course, in all of her advertising, Miss Anderson, for the sake of the poor animals is willing to pose rather scantily clad. Is there nothing this dedicated female wouldn't do to help protect animals?
I looked at the PETA website. They have a lot to say about chickens. According to PETA (and who am I to dispute them?), chickens are very intelligent. Some chickens, they say, like rock music. Some like classical music. One claim made was that chickens are even better than young children in understanding that hidden objects still exist. Perhaps due to advanced intelligence, chickens are the only living things to still believe that Pamela Anderson's talent exists. She certainly keeps it hidden.
There was one quote on PETA's chicken page I found interesting, if not downright stimulating: "Dr. Chris Evans, who runs the animal behavior lab at Macquarie University in Australia and lectures on his work with chickens says 'As a trick at conferences I sometimes list these attributes (such as cognitive ability and memory), without mentioning chickens, and people think I'm talking about monkeys.'"
Why, Dr. Evans, I thought you were talking about Pam Anderson. If chickens really were that smart, I have my doubts how many would want to associate themselves with the actress. But, admittedly, I can't think like a chicken. I guess I'm just not that smart.
And, I guess I should keep my jaded comments about Pam Anderson to myself as well. She's never done anything to me. From what I've seen on television, she's a very caring, passionate woman. And, if nothing else, totally sincere and altruistic. I think I could safely go out on a limb and say there's nothing fake about Pamela Anderson.
One thing I do know, is that now, evidently from talking so much about chickens, all I can think about is heading over to the closest KFC and grabbing a breast.