Animal Passions

Okay, for you all keeping score at home - the tainted spinach count is now 131 persons. Personally, I'd have to say the last 31 are just plain stupid. The story's been on the news so much that now my wife's dogs won't even eat the spinach. Believe me. I've been trying to feed it to them.
Yeah, that's right. I'm holding my wife's dogs hostage and if I can't get a thousand people to read this blog, I'm going to start stuffing spinach down their throats.
Okay, I'm kidding. But that story about the VCU student who is threatening to kill his dog in order to generate publicity is so ridiculous. I'm not a dog lover, but I don't go around killing them either. However, my experience in life is that dog and cat lovers are perhaps the most unbalanced humans on earth.
Now, if you love your pet, don't go getting upset. I can understand an attachment to one's pet, but I'm talking about these fanatics. You know, the person who'd use their child as a raft to paddle out and help a dolphin.
My father was a doctor, and I remember times (on more than one occasion) when mothers would bring their children into his office suffering from a dog bite. And guess what...the mothers were blaming their kids. "Fido is such a good little dog. Oh yes he is. It's just that Junior wouldn't stop looking at him."
I actually have never tortured an animal nor condoned torture of animals. Okay, before you start digging for the skeletons in my closet, I did go to a cock-fight when I was a kid. And, by the way, they were serving the most delicious chicken salad sandwiches I've ever had. Beyond that, I've never been into animal torture.
But, for the life of me, I can't understand how people seem to be more concerned with animals getting hurt than they do humans. For instance, have you ever, at the end of a movie, seen the disclaimer, "No stuntmen were injured in the production of this film?"
Nope, and you never will. One reason is because stuntmen do get hurt...all the time. And, guess what. I bet animals do too. But, if they just put that "No animals were hurt" disclaimer in the movie, everyone feels better. I've been to movies where horses were being shot at full gallop. The horses were falling down left and right. I don't believe they were actually shot, but you can't tell me it didn't hurt those horses just a tad to go sprawling in the dirt. I'm sure the horses weren't just coached to lie down on cue. Somebody was doing something to make those horses fall. And, when they do those rat movies and people fall into a vat of rats, you know one or two of those rats got squshed.
Something else you'll never see is a notice on a medicine bottle or a can of hair spray or whatever telling you that no humans were used as test subjects for the product. But, they'll sure tell you no animals were. And do you know why? Because there are more folks who'd get upset at testing animals than testing humans.
Right now, as we speak, I'm being tested for a drug that is supposed to raise your good cholesterol. The pill is grotesquely huge and dry. I choke it down every day. Some days it gets hung in my throat. I cough. It produces discomfort. But has anyone ever protested that I'm being subjected to this mini-torture? No.
But try sticking that pill down the throat of a pig (no sarcastic remarks here, please), and you'd have pig lovers up in arms. Now I call that just a little unbalanced.
If you think I'm harsh, or cruel, let me know. Drop me a line. But don't be surprised if I don't get back to you right away. I've got to go check on the dogs. They're barking right now. What's that you're saying fellows? You want daddy to give you a little spinach?