Fat, Hot, and Looking Good

Several years ago, I started writing a book. I was going to call it "A Fat Man's Guide to Fashion." I never got too far in it, because, truth be told, I know a lot about being fat, but nothing about fashion. Well, perhaps I'm too modest. I do know a bit about fashion.
And, with summer coming on, I thought it might be good to remind all you fat men out there about a fashion tip that often gets overlooked this time of year. I can really sum this tip up in one word - OVERCOAT!
Simple, eh? But you'd be surprised at how many fat men put the overcoats away just because the temperature soars into the nineties. What's with that? Sure, it may be a bit hot, but you're still fat, aren't you? And nothing hides fat like a good overcoat. Admittedly, not that many normal-sized people wear them in the summer, but, believe me, if you go out in the hot noonday sun with an overcoat on, the last thing others are going to be thinking about when they see you is how fat you are. And really, isn't that what you want.
I'm not talking a thick wool coat. Really, just a full length rain coat will do. And, who says you look ridiculous in a rain coat over the swimming trunks at the beach. Makes perfect sense, and hides a lot of those love handles that you just can't squeeze into the Speedos.
So, as you plan your summer wardrobe, be sure to include one or even two fashionable topcoats. It sure beats dieting, and, we all know that diets don't work anyway. So, be bold. Make that fashion statement. It's a statement that says, "Hey, I may be fat, but I'm not stupid."
And get ready for those admiring looks from the ladies who know a fat fashion plate when they see one. By the way, let me know, how it works for you. I may just try to finish that book.