That's No Lady, That's My Mom

To say that there are many stupid people out there is, of course, to state the obvious. But, despite my having knowledge of that stupidity, I’m still constantly amazed at just how stupid people truly can be.
Did you hear the one about the mother in Portland, Maine who helped her daughter and a couple of her friends bake Ex-lax-filled cookies to give to a school teacher who had given one of the girls a poor grade? That woman really needs to be given some sort of an award for reaching new heights of stupidity.
Now picture this. The kids are complaining about the teacher. One of the girls says, “Hey, I know what we should do. Let’s bake some Ex-lax cookies for Mrs. Frump.” Mom laughs with the girls at the ludicrous idea and then they all go about their daily business.
That would make sense. Even June Cleaver may have (off camera) laughed at the absurdity of doing such a thing. But, in this real-life situation, Mom says, “Great idea. That’s just what Mrs. Frump deserves.”
Mom then gets her Ex-lax, shows the girls how to crush the pills up and mix them in with the cookie dough. That’s a mom that I could certainly look up to as a role model…working diligently to train her daughter in the skills of homemaking and poisoning school teachers.
And, unfortunately, too many mothers are just too busy these days with their careers to take the time to teach their sons and daughters these basic, rudimentary skills. I bet most middle-schoolers have no idea how to bake Ex-lax cookies, or how to build incendiary devices when a cookie just won’t do.
Now, evidently the police up there in Maine feel that poisoning teachers (actually, the teacher gave the cookies to some students, creating a moving experience for several) is against the law. So what did they go and do to the mother of the year? They arrested her. The poor gal appeared before the judge handcuffed and in prison garb. If this mom does hard time who is going to be home when the kids get off the school bus? Who is going to be there to show them how to carve guns out of bars of soap, or where to hide drugs or those other important things that kids are simply not going to learn in school.
Nobody, that’s who? The kids are going to have to learn such things from their friends…from the streets, so to speak. And that worries me.
But, I have to admit it’s mom’s own fault. She really should never have gotten involved. Why couldn’t she be like all those other moms you hear about. You know, those moms who are content to join the PTA and keep themselves busy baking pies and embezzling funds?