Is It Just Me, Or What?

I've used this space on previous occasions to reveal some of my neuroses. I want to do the same today. Although, I'm not quite sure whether this is some quirk with me or if everyone does it. Perhaps you can tell me. Is it just me, or what? I could see a psychiatrist, but I'm sure he'd tell me I was the one with the problem. Or else, how could he keep me coming back? I've always wanted to talk to a psychiatrist just to see if I'm normal, but I figure it's like asking a lawyer if I need a lawyer.
"Gee, no, you should be able to handle that on your own. Why should I make money off of you?"
But, anyway, I digress. That's not the problem I'm writing about today, although, come to think of it, I do tend to digress quite a bit. Like that time back in 1963, well, nevermind. On with my neurosis of the day.
I have imaginary arguments in my head. Every and any time I think there's going to be a conflict, I start playing both the role of me and the role of the person who, I'm assuming, is angry with me. For instance, I was late coming back from lunch one day, and was worried my boss would be irritated. So the imaginary conversation went like this:
Boss: Steve you're late.
Steve: Yes sir. I'm sorry.
Boss: Saying you're sorry isn't good enough.
Steve: Oh yeah? Why not?
Boss: I don't think I like your attitude.
Steve: Well, I've never felt you appreciated me. After all I've done for this company, you're going to talk to me like that.
Boss: (comes over and grabs me by the collar) I think it's time for you to leave.
Steve: Oh yeah, well take this. (I then knee the boss in the groin.)
I'm not a violent person, but in my imagination a knee to the groin accomplishes so much that words alone cannot.
Now in reality, I got back to work and nobody said a thing. Actually, I was somewhat disappointed.
So, I ask, is it me or does everone do this?
I guess I overly worry about things. I hate to complain, but on occasion I must. I went into a McDonald's the other day to complain that my chicken biscuit turned out to be a sausage and egg biscuit. I didn't know that until I got to the office. So, I go into the restaurant (if you can call McDonald's a restaurant) and ask to speak to the manager. While I'm waiting, I begin imagining:
Manager: Yeah, what's the problem?
Steve: Well, sir, I ordered a chicken biscuit yesterday but when I got to the office and opened the bag it was a sausage and egg biscuit.
Manager: Did you check before you left?
Steve: No sir. I'm sorry, but I didn't.
Manager: Well, that's pretty dumb isn't it? But, give me the biscuit and I'll give you a chicken biscuit.
Steve: Well, it's like this sir. I was hungry so I went ahead and ate the sausage and egg biscuit.
Manager: Let me see if I have this straight. You ate the biscuit and now you want a refund? What kind of con game are you running?
Steve: Well, I just wanted to let you know about it.
Manager: I'll let you know something. (He comes over and grabs my collar) You're unwelcome in this restaurant (if I can call this a restaurant). Get out.
Steve: I hate to do this sir, but...(and I give him a knee to the groin)
In reality, the manager was very nice. He gave me a certificate for two biscuits. He even thanked me for letting him know. I was somewhat disappointed.
Am I crazy? I don't feel crazy. But, does everyone do this? You tell me. Maybe we'll meet some day and you can give me your opinion. In fact, I can just imagine our conversation
You: Hey, are you Steve Cook?
Me: (smiling) Why yes, I am. How did you know?
You: Oh, I recognized you from the columns. I read them every day.
Me: (wider smiling) Gee, thanks.
You: And you know what? You're pathetic. I hate you. You ARE crazy (you then grab my collar and start pushing me away)
Me: Thanks for your feedback. (I turn and start to leave, then turn back around.) One more thing though. Take this. (I knee you in the groin).
It is just me, isn't it?