That Wasn't Me, That Was the Male Menopause Talking

It just dawned on me this morning that I have been an idiot. I mean it dawned on me that in one very important aspect of my life, I've been an idiot. I'm sure there is a plethora of idiotic things I've done. But, I'm driving to work, and, all of a sudden, I have this kind of slap-yourself-in-the-forehead epiphany.
You see for years, I've scoffed at the idea of male menopause, assuming it's just an excuse for bad behavior. Then, today, I realize I need a good excuse for my behavior. Why didn't I think of this before. I've let people tell me how grumpy, or boorish, or opinionated, or whatever negative they can think of, I am. And, I've just taken it, like the meek guy I really am.
No more. I have an excuse. I'm going to blame everything on male menopause. Instead of mocking it, I'm going to milk it. Although I don't normally believe in research, I decided to see what the symptoms are so I can see how far I can carry this thing. Depression and mood swings are two of the emotional symptoms. I think I can pull this off.
If I criticize someone, from now on, it's not because I'm a bad person. I'm just depressed. If I speak harshly to someone, well, excuse me, but I'm having a mood swing today. This is great. Let me do a little more research on this. I'm going ride this menopause thing as far as it will take me.
Never mind. I started reading about physical symptoms. It's like these experts really believe in male menopause. I don't know what I believe about it, but I don't want any of the believers to think I'm going through all the things associated with the condition. I knew this was too good to be true.
Why couldn't these so-called experts have left well-enough alone. I don't mind being thought of as moody, but I'm not going to venture down some of the other roads. I guess I'm going to have to continue to let people think I'm just a naturally grumpy guy.
Because, believe you me, even though I'm no expert, there's no truth to this male menopause myth. Men don't go through these physiological changes just because they may have a few years on them. It's a lie, I tell you. Don't believe a word you read about it. Better yet, don't even read about it. Why waste your time? Gee, I've kinda gotten myself worked up over these ridiculous assertions. I think I'm having a hot flash. I need to go lie down.