More Random Acts of Stupidity

I did something just a little bit stupid this morning. Admittedly, I’m not a genius, but I surprised myself with my stupidity. Or, perhaps I’m being too hard on myself.
Here’s what happened: I was fixing a peanut butter sandwich to eat on my way to work. As I spread the peanut butter on the bread, I noticed a little black speck in the peanut butter. Now, because we had a problem with mice a few months ago, my first reaction is that perhaps Mickey's been pooping in the peanut butter.
I had pretty much convinced myself that I was wrong. It wasn’t quite the right shape (belive me, I have studied such things), and how could a mouse get in a sealed jar of peanut butter. I was pretty sure that it must be some sort of seed from the whole grain bread.
But, after giving the matter about five minutes worth of thought, I finally decided that it’s better to be safe than sorry. So, I took the knife and scraped the speck off the bread. Then, I did the stupid thing. Without thinking, I stuck the knife in my mouth and ate the speck along with a tad of peanut butter.
In other words, to be sure that I didn’t get rat droppings in my sandwich, I went ahead and ate the possible dropping directly. Now, the good news is that the speck didn’t taste like what I would imagine a mouse dropping would taste like (if one can imagine such a thing). It was pretty tasteless, actually.
So, I’m probably safe, but, still, it was a pretty stupid thing to do. At least I’m in good company. There are lots of stupid people out there, and when I put my own antics up against those of others, I can proudly say that I’m no where near the top of the stupid list.
For instance, what about this brilliant truck driver who tried to sneak a crane under an overpass on I-95 last night. I have to admit, I’d rather eat mouse droppings than be facing the charges this brainiac must be looking at. How oblivious must a guy be to think he can do something like that?
Or how about the Holloways? Did you hear about this precocious mother and daughter act? While Samara Holloway was finishing up a 7-month jail term, in Richmond City jail, her brilliant mom, Tracey, allegedly (which means we know you did it, but we just can’t say so) smuggled drugs into the jail (in a body cavity, no less) for her daughter.
So, Samara gets out of jail and now she’s back in for having the drugs Mom smuggled in to her. I guess her mother wanted company. She’s also behind bars for resisting arrest, oh yeah I mean for allegedly resisting arrest. Now, that’s a Richmond family you probably won’t be seeing on Jeopardy anytime soon.
On the national scene, I’ll tell you something else that’s pretty dumb. It’s the way this story regarding South Dakota Senator Tim Johnson is being reported. The poor guy is at death’s door (allegedly), and the main concern among most newscasters is that his death could put the Republicans back in control of the Senate. Gee, Mrs. Johnson, I’m sorry to hear about your husband. Just know that I’m praying that the governor won’t appoint a Republican to replace him when he allegedly dies. But the story that takes the cake, is the one about the British professor who wants warning labels put on clothes for fat people. Now, if I go to the clothing store, and have to buy size triple slob, that’s insult enough. I shouldn’t have to look at some label every time I squeeze into the garment, that contains a phone number to call to counsel me on the dangers of being fat. That's just plain tasteless…as tasteless as rat droppings, if you ask me.