How Much Is That Doggie In The Freezer?

My mother was railing against pet lovers this morning, or perhaps, I should qualify that and say she was railing against mentally unstable folk who just happen to love their pets. Personally, while not a pet lover myself, I have (as you may have noticed) a rather pleasant “live-and-let-live” attitude. And being the sort of guy who rarely has anything negative to say about anyone, I tended to disagree with her.
She had seen some news feature on television that really ticked her off. It was about these mentally unstable fanatic pet lovers who have taken to giving their pets Botox injections so the pet won’t look old.
I admit, that’s ludicrous. I can understand some aging beauty trying to preserve her looks. Evidently Botox affects one’s eyesight, because the people who have it look plastic and don't even know it. Take Mary Tyler Moore for instance (as someone with a mild obsessive-compulsive thing going on, it was very difficult for me not to say “please” at this point). She looks like she’s wearing some hideous Mary Tyler Moore mask. Anyway, I digress.
While there may be some understanding of a human not wanting to look old, why would anyone in their right mind care how old the dog looks. Oops, I think I just answered my question.
Obviously, these people are not in their right minds. Do they think that the female dogs (another difficult “OCD” moment here) in the neighborhood are going to turn their noses up at their aging male Chihuahua? Are they afraid Pepe is going to go into some sort of tailspin, spiraling further and further downward into some deep dungeon of doggie depression?
Seems the show also reported on these pet-obsessors who, when Fido buys the farm, will have him freeze-dried. Now, if they were doing that so as to have an emergency meal during some sort of natural disaster, maybe I could understand. But, they want the remains of the dog to stay in the house. Seems the report showed the kids playing with rigor muttus. Now is that sick or what? And they say I have disorders.
Actually, I was going to do my blog today on my mother’s tendency to go overboard on issues. That is, until I heard a report on the WRVA Morning News with Jimmy Barrett (don’t forget to read about Jimmy in the summer West End’s Best, by the way). I really, yes, even literally could not believe my ears.
But, I checked it out at the San Francisco Chronicle’s website (www.sfgate.com). And it’s true. Seems a mother, Maureen Fabish, locked her 12-year old son, Nicky, in the basement so the family’s two pit bulls, which she knew might harm the boy, could have free run of the house. The boy breaks out and is attacked and killed by one or both of the dogs. The mother made two statements, and I’m not sure which one is more stupid. She said, “Typical Nicky, he wouldn’t listen to me.” To this idiotic moron of a mother, it’s the boy’s fault. But, at least she was able to console herself with another comment. I swear I’m not making this up, although I did think Jimmy Barrett was when I first heard it. Here’s what this lame brain dog nut said: “"It's Nicky's time to go. When you're born you're destined to go and this was his time."
Now, don’t we all feel better. It wasn’t Nicky’s fault, really. And it certainly wasn’t the dog’s fault. It was God’s fault.
Is there anyway we could get up a petition to freeze-dry Mrs. Fabish?