More Tragedy In The News

I heard a tragic story on the news this morning. I could tell it was going to be tragic because the newscaster got this real somber sound in her voice. It's that sound that goes from happy to horrified in one fell swoop. I can't really describe it in print, but I'll write a typical newcaster sentence and you can do the imitation for yourself. The newscaster is joking around with the weather guy, they're laughing about a typhoon or something, and then the news guy says in his quickly going from silly to somber voice, "Ha, Ha. Right, Jim. On a more serious note..."
Well, anyway, that's what this newscaster did. So, I could tell a sad story was next, and, boy, was I ever right. The newscaster introduced the story, "Bill Witchett (I made the name up because I wasn't paying that much attention), raises horses. He also wears glasses. Here's Belinda Bettleton (another made up name, but a kind of neat one, don't you think?) with the story."
Well, Belinda sounds even sadder than the woman who introduced her. She proceeds to tell us that Bill wears bifocals (already, the story is more tragic than I had first expected it to be). And those glasses fog up when Bill is out in the stable. I don't think the specific reason for the glasses fogging up was given. But anyway, the poor man has to do his job with foggy glasses. A tear begins to form in the lower right corner of my left eye. But wait! It gets worse.
"And," Belinda says, "If Bill takes off his glasses, he can't see the holes in the bridle."
"Oh, the humanity!" I'm wailing by this time, not just for Bill but for those poor horses. And, evidently Belinda is telling the truth, because next thing you know, Bill is confirming it.
Bill is very sad looking. He whimpers, "I can't see the holes in the bridle without my glasses." Obviously this poor man has suffered in ways most of us can't even begin to imagine. Personally, by this point, I'm beside myself with grief. So, I look over at my other self and say,"Why don't you change the channel. This is too tough for you."
I'm about to agree with myself, when I hear a glimmer of hope in Belinda's voice. "Hold on," I say to myself. "Maybe there's a glimmer of hope."
Belinda is speaking, "Up until now lasik surgery was not available to wearers of bifocals. But..."
As soon as she says, "But," my tears begin to turn to those of joy. "Yes!" I say, again to myself. "My wildest dreams are perhaps coming true. Bill will be able to see the holes in the bridle again...maybe."
"...thanks to a new experimental procedure," Belinda continues, "lasik surgery can now be done for bifocal wearers."
Seems that Bill is not as daring as I thought. His brother had already had this experimental procedure done successfully, so he says, "what the heck," and he gets the experimental procedure himself. And, guess what. Yep, Bill can see those holes again. Bill is smiling now. Evidently, when he was crying earlier, he'd already had the operation, so either the memories were that painful, or the news people asked him to recreate his emotional pain, like they do on America's Most Wanted, when somebody that was kidnapped and then rescued does the little vignette of their being kidnapped. Only, on America's Most Wanted, I don't think they're using the real kidnapper in the re-creation, or else, they could just go ahead and arrest him, when he came in to do the filming.
Anyway, Bill is fine now. And, even though the surgery is still experimental, Belinda did offer some good news. Seems she saved fifteen percent on her car insurance.