Great (Bad) News!

I spent about three hours in the early morning overnight watching CBS news as well as WTVR's local news. And you'll never guess what I found out. The news stinks. Let me put that a little more clearly...the way the news is written and presented stinks.
Now, I'm very apolitical...totally uninvolved, so I have no real personal interest in the Bush administration, but let me ask you this. If you went to the doctor and he said you were dying, would you break your neck trying to gleefully announce your condition to anyone who would listen? That's the way the news is presented on CBS (and perhaps the other networks as well).
They seem so excited to tell us how much the world hates Bush. And, since, it would seem, Bush represents the U.S., I'm assuming the U.S. is also hated. So, why is CBS so happy about that? I really can't figure it out.
And after CBS has spent about 75% of their news time telling us how bad Bush and his cronies are, they report (again, gleefully) that the President's popularity rating is at its lowest point ever. Seems to me that if you were to pound the American public with horror stories about anyone, their popularity might take a hit. Why, even my popularity would be affected, and we all know how widely loved and cherished I am.
After CBS has spent a couple of hours joyfully telling us that America is going to hell in a handbasket, the local news comes on. Trying to put things positively, I will say this: The channel six early morning news team is so bad, they make Gene Cox look good.
First of all, they spend about two minutes out of every ten minutes greeting one another. Everytime the weather guy comes on, everyone has to greet one another. "Hey Greg!" "Hey Jean!" "Hi Bob!" "Hello Greg!" On and on and on. You'd think they hadn't seen one another in quite awhile, but ten minutes later they're doing it again.
After they cheerfuly greet one another, and express delight over the weather forecast, they then pick up where CBS left off. I don't know if these local media folk are as excited about how much people hate the United States as they pretend to be. I think they just think that's the way professional newscasters are supposed to act.
One story I saw on the news today has me a little puzzled. Maybe the Richmond Police Department has more power than I think. But, the people over at Channel Six are sure worried about the police enacting a law that will force all gasoline station owners to install pay before you pump systems to avoid the drive-offs.
Apparently, based on the way the story was reported over and over again, the police are tired of responding to calls regarding those who pump gas and take off without paying. So, the police are trying to make it a law that all pumps be equipped with a system that won't allow pumping without paying.
I guess the police figure since they're totally inept at enforcing laws, they'll start legislating them. What's next? I'd think drive-aways at the pump is just another form of shoplifting. Maybe the police will enact a law that requires all customers to present a credit card when they enter a store, in case they're a shoplifter.
I really did not realize what powers the police have. But WTVR has a lot of gas station operators really upset this morning at what the police are trying to do.
To all those upset gas guys, I say, "Cheer up." I have some great news. According to CBS everyone hates us. Now, doesn't that make you feel better?