Not So Smooth Saling

Oh, by the way, did you hear that yesterday was Black Friday? Unless you spent the day under a rock, you probably heard it over and over and over again. It's all they could talk about on the radio. Big deal. It's a huge shopping day. And that's supposed to be news?
I'm surprised the NAACP hasn't protested. Black Friday is like this really violent day of shopping. People are rioting in the malls. Isn't it just a tad racist to call it Black Friday? Or, am I just being overly sensitive. I have been called a true empath on more than one occasion. Well, I've never heard anyone call me that, but I can just feel it.
On one of the network morning news shows they were giving the worst lines uttered by retail clerks. They had such mundane stuff as "Go ask the clerk over there," or "Sorry, I'm on break," or "If it's not on the shelf, it's not in stock."
Yeah, I've heard all of those, but I think I've heard at least two worse lines by retailers...lines that have somewhat traumatized me for life.
Just a couple of years ago, I decided to check out Men's Wearhouse. I'd heard how attentive they were and what great customer service they offered, so in I went to get me a suit.
I'd been in the store about a minute or two when this very lady-like salesman yells across the store, "May I help you?"
Of course, my reply was, "I'm just looking for a suit."
His response was so shocking, I left the store immediately. Do you know what he asked me? He said, "Do you wear a 48?"
A 48! At the time I was wearing a 43, or squeezing into a 42 if need be. What an absolute moron. I've never been a suit salesman, but even I know that you never guess higher than the person's actual size. Why, I'd never been so insulted in my life. I hauled freight out of that store. And, I've never set foot in a Men's Wearhouse again. It hurt, but I've consoled myself with the realization that I just wasn't his type.
Several years ago, and I mean like thirty years ago, a girl I was dating took me to S&K to help me find a suit. She didn't care much for my taste in clothes. We get into the store and the salesman approaches and my friend says, "I want him to have a suit that's really him."
Now, if you were a commissioned salesman, wouldn't you think this is my opportunity to make a sale? I mean this girl(friend) didn't even use the "just looking" phrase. She asked the guy for help in finding, and then, of course, selling, me a suit. But do you know what this idiot says?
Here she has just asked him to find me a suit that was really me. Here I was, the dork of the early seventies, with this big, stupid grin on my face that said I'm ready to be suited up.
And the salesman of the century looks me up and down, turns to my girlfriend and says, "I'm afraid we don't have anything that drab."
After these two experiences in shopping, every day is Black Friday to me.