Friday, February 10, 2006

More of Those Not-So-Sweet Mysteries of Life

I spend a lot of time in my car. I'm not really going anywhere, it's just that I get a kick out of the luxurious feeling that comes from sitting in a 1993 Saturn. Plus, I keep my Hostess cupcake stash under the torn uphostery, and I like to be close to that.
But, enough bragging about my material possessions. I really came here to brag about my deep thoughts. While riding, I do a lot of thinking. It's kind of an occupational hazzard. And, as I'm thinking, I'm coming up with questions that I simply can't answer. Maybe you can help. I know a lot of you are a lot deeper than I, so put your thinking caps on and help me out.
First question, am I crazy or what? Let me explain what I mean. Every time I'm riding down the highway and I see one of those driver ed cars, you know the ones that say "Student Driver," I get this urge to jerk in front of the car and slam on brakes. It's just my way of giving the student a little pop quiz. I never do it. But, I get this urge.
Now, is that just me, or does that happen to all of you, too? That's what I want to know. I guess what I'm asking is if my reaction is pretty normal, or what?
But, on to other thoughts and questions...Are the Grammy Awards really disgusting to you too? I like most music genres. So, it's cool to see pop and country stars together, but then they bring out all the hip hop thugs and all the people I like are applauding and acting like they're just fine being in a room with all those criminals.
It's kind of like if the Chamber of Commerce had it's citizens of the year awards dinner and they merged that event with the state penal system's convicts of the year awards, and they all sat down together and had a great time. And all the citizens were applauding the criminals for something that semi resembled talent, like carving guns out of soap, or hiding cigarettes or whatever. Does that make sense to you?
What I don't get is that the people who seem to think hip-hopping thugs are okay, are the same people who think it's a crime to wiretap terrorists. Maybe it's just me. Maybe that all makes perfect sense. Maybe that mind-numbing fragrance of rich Corinthian terry cloth which fills the interior of my Saturn is playing with my brain. Who knows?
There is one more thing about which I am a little puzzled. In fact, it's left me scratching my head. I heard recently that this Catholic priest in Italy wants Michael Jackson to record some of Pope John Paul II's poems or something. I've been trying to figure out what a Catholic priest and Michael Jackson could possibly have in common. I mean are there any shared interests at all? If so, I sure can't think of what it could be. You out there...any ideas?

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