Two Wrongs Just Might Make a Right

I'm somewhat worried about the things I'm reading in the news. What I'm afraid of is that the bird flu will hit here before gasoline prices go up to $7.00 a gallon. If we're lucky, the gas will hit the big seven-oh-oh before we start dropping like flies with bird flu. You see the wisdom there, I'm sure.
The thing that will cause bird flu to spread like wildfire is if we all get in our cars and go around other people. But, if gas prices are so high that we all have to stay home, then that ol' bird flu won't hardly be felt at all. Oh sure, someone here and there will get it, but then they'll die before they can infect others, and before you know it, the whole thing just fizzles out.
So, I'm suggesting, if not encouraging, the oil companies to go ahead and put the screws to us now. Who knows, at the rate things are going we may hit $7.00 in the next couple of weeks anyway. But then, on the other hand, I don't want the gas to hit $7.00 too soon for two reasons. First, why pay that much when there's no pandemic knocking at the door. Secondly, if it hits too early, the artificially raised gas price problem will come and go before the flu ever gets here.
I guess you can see why I'm so worried. This whole thing, our future existence, hinges on timing being just right.
It's kind of like when you're eating a bowl of ice cream and a piece of cake at the same time. About the time I get half-way through, I lose all my joy worrying about making sure that my last bite of cake comes at the same instant as my last bite of ice cream. It's sheer misery, trying to make things hit just right. Sometimes I'll have to restock on cake and/or ice cream three or four times to make the whole thing jive.
I don't know how to make the bird flu and the gas prices jive. I'm afraid this is one (make that two) horrifying catastrophies that we're just going to have to hope for the best.
Of course, there is one even brighter side to the whole thing. Maybe the illegal immigrants will be running the country by then and it'll be their problem. We'll all be down in Mexico picking jumping beans, or something...totally oblivious to bird flu or gas prices. I kind of hope for that scenario. My head is already hurting worrying about all of this.