I spent some time over the past few days in a local hospital maternity ward. It's fascinating to watch new parents parade in and out...to see the joy, the wonderment. It's not only very touching, but the experience gets my somewhat philosophical mind to thinking deep thoughts.
My observations have me pondering one of life's biggest questions - Why do ugly people tend to marry ugly people? Now, that may seem to be a question with an obvious answer, but when you think deeply, you'll see that the answer is not so obvious.
You might think that it's only natural for ugly people to marry ugly people, but, why is it natural? Here's where my questions come in. Do ugly people realize they're ugly? Does one come to a point in life where he says, "Hey, I'm ugly. I'll never have a pretty wife, so let me go get an ugly one."?
And if that's so, does the ugly guy work his way down...starting with pretty, then going to attractive, then plain, then kinda ugly, and so on?
I'm not a good looking guy, but I'd never marry ugly. Oh sure, it's nice to say that it's what one looks like inside that counts. But hey, I'm not kissing the person inside. I'm kissing the lips on the outside and if those lips are hooked to an ugly face, it's not as pleasant.
I saw some really ugly couples this weekend, and I'm guessing that since they're new parents, they had to have been doing some kissing. Maybe there's a genetic thing in ugly people that causes them to be less shallow. I don't think so. When about 75% of the ugly ones have packs of Marlboros wrapped up in the sleeve of their t-shirts and Confederate flags sewn on the seat of their jeans, I'm thinking they're probably not your deepest thinkers. But, maybe that's my own prejudices shining through.
Maybe, since you look at your face in the mirror every day, you get sort of immunized to ugly, so much so, that when you see ugly on someone else, it doesn't even register. That sort of makes sense to me. I've looked at my face for so many years, that I don't really see the true ugliness until I look at a picture of myself. I wonder how can such a good looking guy be so un-photogenic. I guess the point is that I'm not a good looking guy.
Even though I can accept that, and have for many years, there's no way I could have an ugly wife. I'd rather be alone. Does that sound shallow? Maybe so. But, at least I'm honest. That counts for something, doesn't it?
And, if nothing else, I'm bound to have made some points with my wife today. I'm saying she's pretty. Doesn't that make up for all those other times? I'm hoping. I sure don't want to lose the wife I have. At this point in my life, there's little chance I could get another pretty one.
Monday, May 22, 2006
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