Take a Number and Rot

First, before I begin my tale of unparalleled stupidity by a government agency, I just want to say how proud I am of Mayor Governor Wilder and the entire bunch who came up with the name for Maymont's new bear. People are always accusing Richmonders of being too localized in their thinking...of thinking that if it's not from Richmond, it ain't worth much. But, I think it's safe to go out on a limb after this past weekend and say, "You're very Richmond, if you name the Richmond bear after a southwestern United States city.
Okay, really, what did you truly name the bear? Come on. It's a cute joke...naming the bear Phoenix, but this is carrying a joke too far. I could understand that some of the judges weren't crazy about my suggestion, Bobby, the Baby-Biting Bear, but really, that name makes a lot more sense, and is a heck of a lot cuter than Phoenix.
Is it some sort of symbolism? I know the dead bears were cremated, so is this saying that the new bear rose from the ashes of those child-devouring bears that used to terrorize visitors to Maymont? Could this be a way of scaring the kids. You know, as if to say, "Ha Ha. You thought you killed the bears, but they're back in one bigger, meaner, child biting furry machine."
If so, then, hmmm, I'm all for it. I like it, actually. Forget what I said. Maybe this was a good decision on the part of city officials.
Now, on to the issue at hand. My wife and I have been living at the DMV over the past few days, trying to get a matter straightened out. Those folks there are not only the rudest, crudest, most arrogant group of government-payroll leeches, but they're also exceptionally stupid. And them's there good points.
My wife sent off her check weeks ago for her new decals. She got the new registration but not the decals. So, she calls DMV - Dirty Moronic Vultures...of course vultures only eat the flesh after the animal has died. The folks at DMV slay you then devour you.
Anyway, she calls DMV and after about a 30 minute wait, she's told she has to come in and pick up replacement decals, so she goes, gets in the drive through line and waits about an hour. Finally, she has to give up, because there are other things happening in her life. So we go back the next day. Unbelieveably, there's hardly any line in the drive through. We pull up, give the woman the registration - a new registration I might add, and the woman tells my wife that she can't give her the decals because that car was sold to someone in North Carolina in November.
The fact that my wife is driving the car, and holding a new registration that DMV sent her in May means absolutely nothing to the barely English-speaking customer service rep. One thing to keep in mind when you go to DMV, yes, it is a Virginia governmental agency, but they don't speak English.
My wife's car is leased, so, home we go and call Honda Finance. We have to be transferred three times, but each rep is very polite, and they speak beautiful English. The irony is not lost on me that the only company in America with English speaking reps is a Japanese company. Not one person even so much as said, "Ah so..."
The final word from Honda is that they had never notified DMV of any change in the lease status. They insist it must be the fault of DMV. Having had previous dealings with DMV, I have no trouble believing that.
The next day is Saturday. My wife gets up early and gets to DMV at eight AM...opening time. Already there is a line around the interior of the building...not waiting to be served, just waiting to get a number so you can go somewhere else and wait to be served. It took an hour just to get a number.
At the window, my wife explains the problem. The rep is new and asks a fellow rep what should she do. That rep says to go ahead and give her the decals. But, the new rep calls a manager who refuses to do that. In other words, there are no real rules. Everyone just kind of makes it up as they go along. If my wife had gotten the other window, she would have had her decals. Makes perfect sense to me.
So, anyway, my wife has to get Honda to fax her some paper, then she has to go back down to DMV and spend another morning. I think the next time she needs to take along something I like to call an intimidator. Something that gets the DMV morons motivated. I wonder if Phoenix might be available.