Monday, March 06, 2006

Owed To Steve Johnson

Well, it’s a rather sad day down at City Hall, and especially for Stephen Johnson. No, I’m not referring to Brokeback Mountain’s dismal showing at the Oscars. I am, of course, talking about the impending resignation of Mr. Johnson.
I guess, it’s really a relief to the poor guy. After all, he’s lost his passion. Personally, I hope there wasn’t a whole lot of passion going on down at the school board, if you know what I mean. It creates a mental image I’d just as soon not have to live with.
The other morning I woke up with an old tune playing in my head. Now, this may seem totally unrelated, but hang with me a minute and you’ll see that it’s not. I was humming an old Glen Campbell tune. I couldn’t think of the name, but as I began to hum, some of the lyrics started to work their way from the inner recesses of my mind.
So, I got on the Internet, did a little googling, and voila! I came up with the song. Here’s the eerie part. The name of the song is “The Straight Life.” And, this all happened at about the same time (give or take a few days) that Mr. Stephen Johnson was trying to get through security at the airport with the marijuana. Weird, huh?
Well, you don’t have to hit me over the head with a brick to get my attention. I realize that some sort of thing must have been going on in my head for that very song to have come to mind. Now, you may be thinking that I’ve lost my mind. If you remember the song “The Straight Life,” you may be asking yourself what in the world am I talking about.
Well, here’s the even eerier part. I have come to realize that new lyrics to that old song were also running through my head. Strange? Yes, strange! So, I’ve copied those lyrics down and am actually submitting them for your perusal below. I’m thinking that maybe we all go down to City Hall tonight and sing the song to Mr. Johnson and to the school board. It'd kind of be my own humble way of saying, "Thanks for all you've done." It’s just a thought, but are you with me or not?
If you don’t remember the song, just give me a call (804 796-9767) and I’ll hum it to you. I’ll even sing you the song if you like. It’s the least I can do.

Anyway, here’s my new version of The Straight Life, dedicated, of course, to Stephen Johnson, soon-to-be former Richmond school board member.

Sometimes I imagine myself on the school board
Impressing the others with my brilliant mind
Looking so good in my suit and my tie
Looking just like your average guy
Living the straight life, so fine.

Sometimes my thoughts find me down at the city hall
It sure beats doing some real prison time
Making decisions for all of those kids
Saying do as I say and not as I did
Living the straight life so fine.

Suddenly all my silly thoughts go up in smoke
I’m down at the airport a-hiding my tokes
The cops are patting me down from my head to my toe
Now, that won’t the worst part, don’t you know

The school board I did love, what must have I been thinking of
Leaving the straight life behind
I must have been out of my mind

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