It's A Big Beautiful Stupid World Out There And I'm Loving It.

Well, I'm back. And I think I'm man enough that the truth can be told now. I've been in a rest home over the past few weeks. Special thanks to Lars Kirkengaard, a rising sixty-grader at Maude Trevette Elementary School in Henrico for so capably filling in for me.
I didn't, in the truest sense of the word, have a comlete breakdown. But, I had a nervous condition brought on by the lack of really funny stuff about which to write.
You see, truth be known, I have no genuine sense of humor. I just recognize something stupid when I see it. But the stupidity has to have a measure of funniness. I mean with the nations of the world at each other's throats, there's lots of stupid going on, but none of it is all that funny.
I was about to give up all hope, and then I heard Jimmy Barrett interviewing Chad Siewert on WRVA this morning. As soon as the interview was concluded, I unfastened my straight jacket, and headed back to the keyboard. I'm a new man. I'm reinvigorated. Yessireebob, there is stupid news tonight.
Siewert, in case you haven't heard is a South Richmond guy, a former soldier, in fact, who has posted a sign in the yard of his Jahnke Road home encouraging people to just take a minute and stop and think about the whole 9-11 controversy. Siewert, evidently just by looking at a few websites, has pretty much figured this whole 9-11 conspiracy theory out.
"It was an inside job." That's what Siewert has discovered. He even knows the reason why the United States government decided to destroy the World Trade Center and a portion of the Pentagon. It was to gain support for a war in Afgahanistan. Makes sense to me. I'm just glad Bush was able to convince us that Sadam had WOMD. Who knows what the President would have done to get support for a war in Iraq. I'm thinking he may have even have had to have himself bombed.
Now, I admit, as brilliant as Siewert's reasoning seems to be, I do see a loophole or two. Let me, if you will, play devil's advocate for just a sec.
If the government was so willing to kill millions of its citizens on September 11th, why don't they just pop Siewert's little head off next time he sits out in his front yard? Now, keep in mind, I'm not recommending that. I'm just trying to think presidentially.
Siewert, based on what he told Barrett, sits outside quite a bit. Apparently when motorists drive by, they'll often stop and want to engage him in intellectual debate. From what I could discern, that would be tantamount to me trying to debate relativity with Einstein himself.
Chad Siewert, when it comes to conspiracies, is a mental giant. So much so, that he says that everyone - and he means EVERYONE - who debates him comes away convinced he's right on target. I'd say that's a pretty good batting average. I mean, even Jesus couldn't convince everyone. Of course, Jesus never, to my knowledge, ever thought to use yard signs.
Now, keep in mind that not everyone stops to debate Siewert. Many, he says, just honk their horn as they go by to tell him they're on his side. I think Jesus did come up with that bumper sticker first.
Anyway, Chad Siewert is a powerfully convincing guy. But, again, I do have a few questions. Obviously, Siewert has the answers, but what I'd like to know is this: The guy says that one of the reasons he knows the whole 9-11 thing is a hoax is because he's been on the official FBI website and they don't even mention Osama Ben Ladin as being most wanted.
It kind of makes sense, but before I join Siewert's Army, I would like to know why George Bush doesn't just make that guy doing the FBI's website put Ben Ladin on the most wanted list. And, if the guy didn't want to do it, Bush could just have him killed. In fact, Bush could hire himself another plane and just destroy the whole FBI building if the feds weren't willing to help him with his coverup.
Really, once you've killed several thousand citizens, why wimp out now? I'm sure that after I've massacred my first thousand people, there'd be no stopping me. But, then I'm not the president. Maybe George Bush has some diabolical plan that involves keeping Chad Siewert alive.
If so, that's fine with me. Personally, I want to tell Mr. Siewert how much I appreciate him. Had it not been for him, and Jimmy Barrett, of course, I'd at this very moment be sitting in the Shady Meadows' basket weaving for seniors class. And, do you have any idea how difficult it is to weave a basket with your hands strapped behind your back?