Lochru Again, Naturally

Hello, this is Lochru, the four hundred year old Druid and now man about town. With Steve Cook still missing, the publishers of the magazine asked me if I'd fill in for a day or two.
As you may know from reading Steve's columns, I was recently found frozen at the bottom of Swift Creek Reservoir. Since my de-thawing, or coming out party, as I like to call it, I have enjoyed actually breathing again.
People ask me, "Lochru," they say, "Is it hard getting used to modern civilization?"
To that oft-asked question, I must reply that it really hasn't been all that difficult. We used to have an old Druid expression, "The more things change, the more things stay the same." How true that has proven to be. For instance, since I'm virtually unemployed (I do hang out at the 7/11 sometimes, hoping to pick up an odd job or two), I've been watching a lot of TV. I enjoy all those nature shows, but I'm a little baffled as to whom this god Evolution is. Constantly, I hear the narrator's crediting Evolution with this or that.
I've done a little research, and while most Evolutionists are reluctant to come right out and say it's a religion, it sure seems like one to me. We Druids were a bunch of nature-worshiping freaks if you ask me. Actually, among my Druid friends, I was viewed as somewhat of a monotheistic heretic. The worship of this god Evolution is very similar to our beliefs. I just don't understand why Evolution's devotees are so reluctant to acknowledge their unquestioning devotion as being a religion.
We Druids were proud of our religious beliefs. I'm sure that if the real Druids were around today we would quickly fall at the feet of Evolution and pay him honor. In a way he reminds me of Ginnugagap. Now, admittedly, we stole this one from the Germans. Basically, the teaching was that in the beginning was the great void, Ginnungagap. A fiery region developed to the south and a windy, icy region to the north. Together they produced chaos and out of chaos sprang life. Doesn't that remind you of what your "enlightened modern thinkers" say the great God Evolution did? It sure does me. I've listened to some of your TV evangelists and the way they describe faith - just believe it because we say it, is very similar to both our ancient beliefs and the worship of Evolution.
Of course, on the other hand, you have those who believe that all life was the product of some great designer. Now, does that make sense? I mean look at a baby's little finger. Does that seem like something that was designed? Or the petals on a dogwood tree...would you have me believe there's some great master artist who created that? Hmmm. Excuse me. I've got some thinking to do, and, personally there's no better place to think than while encrusted in a block of ice. I'll talk to you later. And, if Steve ever shows up, tell him I said hi.