You know, when scientists announced that they had frozen mouse sperm for up to fifteen years and then thawed it out and used it to fertilize a little mousie egg, I wasn't all that concerned. I figured that they (they, being the scientists, not the mice) had better things to do. After all, mice seem to reproduce relatively well on their own, and I couldn't see any real reason to go around helping mice to make more mice.
Besides, and this may be from growing up watching the Mickey Mouse Club, I tend to think fertilizing eggs in the laboratory takes some of the rodent romance away. Who can forget Muskrat Love, by Captain and Tenille?
I've seen the way Mickey looks at Minnie, and his eyes aren't saying go get the test tube, if you get my drift. Hmmm, I'm just wondering. Did they ever tie the knot? I'm assuming so.
But anyway, if scientists want to freeze mouse sperm, I've always been the first to say, "Let them do it." But, now, they're carrying things just a bit too far. I guess you've spent a sleepless night or two recently, as have I, just thinking about what those sperm-freezing scientists are up to now.
I, of course, am talking about their exploring the possibility of thawing out the sperm of wooly mammoths, which have been found buried in the permafrost of Siberia. I think it's Siberia. It could be Minneapolis, but I don't think so.
Anyway the scientists want to take that wooly mammoth sperm, inject it in the egg of an Asian elephant and get an animal that would be 50% wooly mammoth.
First of all, I say the Asians are having enough problems right now without their elephants running around giving birth to prehistoric creatures. If China will only allow human couples to have one child, why would they let their elephants start producing wooly mammoths?
I think, and admittedly this shows the softer side of Steve Cook, but I think that the world would be better off with a few more Chinese children than even one wooly mammoth. I mean, really. We've all seen Jurassic Park. Do you want dinosaurs and those pterodactyls back here on earth? I think there's a good reason those birds were extinct before windshields came along. And forget hanging the laundry on the line to dry.
But, if scientists have their way, I'm predicting we'll have a wooly mammoth invasion within the next month or two. I'll be the first to tell you that I'm not the brightest bulb in the...whatever bulbs are in...so my prediction could be off by a week or two, but you just better wake up and smell the pterodactyl droppings and stop science before it's too late.
I think we should have a year or two moratorium on scientists doing anything. We pretty much have everything we need. Oh yeah, I think those guys who are working on 3-D televisions should be allowed to keep that up, but other than that, there's really nothing that man needs right now. We sure don't need a wooly mammoth.
At least that's this man's opinion. Anyone care to disagree?
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5 comments:
There are infinitely more children in one American household than there are mammoths in the entire universe.
Who knows? They may be the best thing since the Tartars decided it would be tastier and healthier to actaully cook thier meat, instead of letting friction tenderize it under the saddle of thier horses.
Soon, we might be eating authentic mammoth burgers...
Hmmm, mammoth burgers, I'm willing to try anything once, well, not anything, but in the food line probably. No one has offered me an elephant burger, and it seems most hunters prefer to just kill them for the lovely ivory tusks, I'm betting it isn't worth the money. Do the natives eat elephant meat? I wonder???
I have to admit I didn't know scientists were working on that, but it does seem if they insist on "playing" with sperm there should be something that would benefit mankind better than prehistoric animals.
I think they have been watching too many Disney movies. I don't believe mammoths are really huggy, warm, loving creatures, with the voice of "Raymond." Ooops does that mean I am agreeing with you??
Kiele, as uncomfortable as this may be to you, yes, I think you are agreeing with me. Sorry. But, it happens to the best of you all on occasion. However, I hadn't considered mammoth burgers, so, I might be tempted to tell the scientists to thaw out a little sperm and let's see what happens. Yuck. I just re-read that.
And, speaking of food, Anonymous, I don't know much about the Tartars except that they made a delightful sauce.
Yep, before the World's Fair brought hamburgers to full awareness, before the people from Hamburg brought over thier Hamburger steak, "nomadic Tatar people of the Central Asian steppes did not have time to cook and thus placed meat underneath their horses' saddles. The meat would be tenderised by the end of the journey."
See, today we would go to Mcdonald's. Back then, we'd put a piece of beef under our seat. Soon, if Mcdonald's keeps going downhill as it is, we won't be able to tell the difference.
I think I'll get a piece of chicken, put it under the phone book I keep in the driver's seat of my Saturn, so I'll sit up nice and high, and when I get home tonight, I'll eat it. All in the name of research, of course. I'll let you know how it works out.
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