WITH TROPICAL SHOWERS ERNESTO HEADING OUR WAY, WE PRESENT THE FOLLOWING - FROM OUR ONLINE CHESTERFIELD REPORTER BECKY WRIGHT... (CALL IT A PUBLIC SERVICE, AND WE CAN TAKE THIS AS A TAX WRITE OFF)
Batten down the hatches Mother Nature is going to smack us again, I'm thinking about building an underground bunker with access to local pizza parlors and fast food establishments. You know the tubes at the drive through bank lanes? The ones you put money in? Why can't we hide underground away from the storms, and have connecting tunnels to McDonalds, Hardees, Wendys, Burger King and so on? Just put my food in a plastic container, drop it in the tube and whoosh! I’m fed without having to travel out in a raft.
I feel like I’m stuck in a rainy-day version of Groundhog Day. That was an enlightening film starring Bill Murray as a temperamental-high strung news journalist-weatherman who gets stuck repeating the same day over and over and until he gets it right. In the movie, Murray is the only one who remembers this is the same day. He uses this advantage to save a life,learn a lifetime of piano concerts in days, become refined and begin a romance.
Is Virginia deemed to end up as a sponge? Are we turning into a tropical rainforest filled with subdivisions? Those who are pulled to a life of fisherman persuasion must be leaping for joy. Can you imagine opening your front door and a record breaking bass is swimming past your front porch? How would you feel to look out your window and Flipper is smiling back at you?
Think of the money you could save parking your cabin cruiser in your yard instead of at the marina. Do boats get better gas mileage than cars? We could always canoe down Chippenham if our gas gets low.
What about seaweed ? There are markets for that stuff now. Between the fish in our yard lakes, saving money by not having to store boats at the marina, we could make a fortune farming seaweed. Just ponder the possibilities.
The rainfall estimates keep changing as fast as Elizabeth Taylor changes husbands. Two inches, six inches, maybe more? The storm tracking lines keeping swerving like the beam from Luke Skywalker’s light saber.
Just where will the storm ‘s target be? It’s a game of storm roulette; just where will that wheel stop?
On the anniversary dates of Gaston and the heels of Isabel’s anniversary, what can we expect? Add to that the fact that the local fair has started and we should have been planning on the deluge weeks ago.
I just should have bought flippers instead of tennis shoes, but I’ll never learn, Virginia seems destined to become a waterworld.
Batten down the hatches, Chesterfield, thar she blows,again.
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5 comments:
Hmmmm--in case of flooding, go underground. Not sure if that's a good idear... Don't be another Michael Brown, you might do a heckuva job!
No worries mate...my bunker is waterproof ! I plan ahead :)
why not go high rise during atery times?
Hi-rise is bummer during tornadoes,the higher you climb the stronger the wind. I guess you have to choose your poison-water or wind...
Okay, enough everybody. If ya'll can't say something stupid, just keep your mouths closed.
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